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Image for Gay Beats Back In The Spotlight

Gay Beats Back In TheSpotlight

Squirt.org, a site that, amongst other things, offers a comprehensive list of gay beats around the world, has found itself in the media spotlight once again. The site lists Wales’ most popular family pool as a gay beat, and people are not happy about it.

The listing for the £32m ($79,636,000 AUD) Cardiff International Pool lists “cruising tips” for the pool as well as user ratings and reviews of the beat. A number of weeks ago, police were called to the pool after two men were discovered having sex on the premises.

Gay community groups in Wales have expressed concern over the use of such venues for gay beats. One gay pool user who found the site listing told Wales Online, “I regularly take my nephew swimming on Sundays and was a bit alarmed by the pool being on this site. It’s not just the fact that it’s public. There are children there.”

Jo Smith, senior manager at the Cardiff pool said they had stepped up security to prevent offences being committed there.

“Obviously we are alarmed by this. It’s certainly not a tag we want to be associated with,” she told Wales Online. “We have had one incident reported about two weeks ago which was immediately reported to the police.”

Smith said the pool would “look to prosecute” should anyone be found committing “lewd acts” at the pool.

Mike Smith, a prominent spokesman for Wales’ gay community, said a section of the gay community still conceal their sexuality and feel the need to meet men anonymously. But Smith says safety is the number one priority, “for their health in ensuring they do not indulge unsafe sex and do not become victims to homophobic attacks – and also for the public, whether gay or straight, who should not encounter such behaviour, again whether involving gay people or heterosexuals.”

It is not the first time this website has grabbed mainstream media attention. Last year the Sydney Morning Herald reported that the toilets in Myer’s city store in Sydney were being used as a gay beat venue, sparking similar calls for extra security and concerns over child safety at the store.

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Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 23rd Oct, 2008

Hypothetical Imagine This: You see a lovely man. Your gaze interlocks with his, the mental anticipation of that first, tender kiss makes your heart skip a beat. Your palms are sweaty, the very first words you utter to him is:
'Hey, you a top? Huh? Let's fuck in the cubicle'.
You go into the toilet cubicle not even knowing his name. You're too scared to speak any further because you don't want to catch the attention of a security guard. 40 seconds later after a quick fondle, a hurried tug and lightening flash poke up the bum (without a condom or lube since this was a random, opportunistic thing) the bloke gives you his card. You wash your hands, dry them, go back to work with a cum stain on your business shirt. You wonder for a moment 'I'm not a slut. I don't usually do this kind of thing. I hope he isn't HIVpositive...'
The next day you do the same thing all over again, this time with a different stranger. But you can't forget the man who gave you his card and you can't forget the way he glanced over at you and lovingly looked at you before you even knew his name. You lost his card. You never see him again. A couple of months later you develop a horrible rash, a fever, feel dizzy and faint. The tests come back and now you're HIVpositive....

honest

honest said on the 23rd Oct, 2008

Yes there is that Asherbelle, but besides all that doing it in the dunny is just plain nasty yuk!

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 24th Oct, 2008



Yes. True. But for some people (sexuality here is irrelevant) the thrill of *getting away with* public sex is as arousing as the physical sensation of cumming. It's called sex addiction, the state of impulsively feeling compelled to have sex no matter what the environment or possible repercussions for having done so.

Having sex in public toilets isn't exclusively a *gay* issue - it's an *I love subversion more than my need for self-respect* issue.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 24th Oct, 2008

i agree. children schmildren. we were all young once.

if i have to listen to fucking kids screaming in the supermarket, then they can deal with a bit of rough trade in the toilets every now and again.

I wonder if you're an uncle.
Would you openly tell your nephew or niece that their subjection to the throes of your *rough trade* being performed in a public toilet is an excuse to tell them they must keep silent in a supermarket?

Spooky

Spooky said on the 30th Oct, 2008

children schmildren? what kind of response is that?

equality comes with responsibilities. if you want to be treated like a fully functioning member of society try acting like one.

there's heaps of sex on premises venues. if you can't get to one of them you should keep it in your trousers. i remember a few years ago when the changing rooms at cook and philip used to have loads of guys pulling their puds trying to cop off.

i don't condone violence but, fuck me, if you go out of your way to get your rocks off in clearly inappropriate venues well you aint going to get a lot of sympathy from me.

If you were a closet queen would you cough up $15.00 - $20.00 to acknowledge your homosexuality?

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 30th Oct, 2008


Balance the mild & fleeting embarrassment of paying a fee to enter a gay-oriented, sex on premises venue with the life sentence that comes from having unprotected, unhygienic, unprepared sex (HIV) and the potentially public humiliation (and career-damaging devastation) of being arrested for commiting 'lewd' sex acts in a public place and I think you'll find closeted gay men would choose the privacy, cleanliness, convenience, anomynity and safety of *acknowledging* their homosexuality in a place like Bodyline, 357, Ken's or Kingsteam.

Bren

Bren said on the 30th Oct, 2008



Not defending or condeming beat sex, but I note it's not the venue but the mode of having sex that conveys the risk. You seem to be saying there is an higher risk of acquiring HIV at a beat. Is that borne out by available stats/data?

Plenty of people who have beat sex do not acquire HIV. Plenty who do not have beat sex, do acquire HIV. I seriously doubt there is any substantive public health benefit in demonising one of these groups in particular, because that is a slippery slope to the unreasonable insinuation that beat users somehow deserve HIV.

No-one deserves HIV. No way, no how.

I've heard the claim in recent years that out of all reported HIV transmissions in Australia, most occur in the bedroom. Does anyone remember what campaign that snippet was part of and whether or not it was accurate?

hazyinseptember

hazyinseptember said on the 31st Oct, 2008


equality comes with responsibilities. if you want to be treated like a fully functioning member of society try acting like one.


beat culture has been around waaaaaaaaaay longer than the gay rights movement..

first records are around the time that london was being built..

what about areas where there are no sex on premises venues? is it acceptable then?

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008

Not defending or condeming beat sex, but I note it's not the venue but the mode of having sex that conveys the risk. You seem to be saying there is an higher risk of acquiring HIV at a beat. Is that borne out by available stats/data?

Plenty of people who have beat sex do not acquire HIV. Plenty who do not have beat sex, do acquire HIV. I seriously doubt there is any substantive public health benefit in demonising one of these groups in particular, because that is a slippery slope to the unreasonable insinuation that beat users somehow deserve HIV.

No-one deserves HIV. No way, no how.

I've heard the claim in recent years that out of all reported HIV transmissions in Australia, most occur in the bedroom. Does anyone remember what campaign that snippet was part of and whether or not it was accurate?
If you are quickly fumbling around in a toilet cubicle with the fear of God in you that you'll get caught, how careful are you going to be in ensuring your condom is correctly and safely fastened? How many guys walk into a shopping mall toilet on their lunchbreaks with a tube of lube in their pockets? What percentage of 'beat sex' guys would have the mindset of 'careful' when their brains are switched on to *quickie* mode?

honest

honest said on the 31st Oct, 2008

I'm interested to see the statistical proof indicating bedroom sex is HIV riskier than beat sex.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008


There wouldn't be any statistical proof of such a thing.
Who in their right mind would proudly admit to having sex at a beat (and, on top of that, admit to be fucked by a total stranger without a condom)??

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008

Not defending or condeming beat sex, but I note it's not the venue but the mode of having sex that conveys the risk. You seem to be saying there is an higher risk of acquiring HIV at a beat. Is that borne out by available stats/data?

Plenty of people who have beat sex do not acquire HIV. Plenty who do not have beat sex, do acquire HIV. I seriously doubt there is any substantive public health benefit in demonising one of these groups in particular, because that is a slippery slope to the unreasonable insinuation that beat users somehow deserve HIV.

No-one deserves HIV. No way, no how.

I've heard the claim in recent years that out of all reported HIV transmissions in Australia, most occur in the bedroom. Does anyone remember what campaign that snippet was part of and whether or not it was accurate?

Beat sex is risky. Bashings. Arrests. Dirty environment (what mens' toilet EVER in the history of humanity DIDN'T stink of urine and faeces?).
Beat sex participants don't need ME to *demonize* them.
They are responsible for, and more than capable of, demonizing their own reputations.

rheiner

rheiner said on the 31st Oct, 2008

"If you want to be treated like a fully functioning member of society try acting like one."

Are you fucking serious? This is exactly the same argument that has driven homophobia for centuries: if you want to be treated as a human being then stop engaging in unacceptable behaviour like gay sex.

I think the problem here is not beats per se, but the fact that websites like squirt exist at all. As hazy said, beats have been around forever, and they're something that hysterical tabloid reading families would never have known about if they weren't splashed all over the internet. Hell, even I couldn't tell you the location of more than one or two beats because I've never gone looking for them, and that's the way it should stay - this kind of info shouldn't be available to anyone who doesn't need to know about it.

And seriously, Asherbella, for someone who presents themselves as so fucking well adjusted you sure like to tell other people they have self-respect issues. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. I know quite a few gay men who'll happily "admit" to having beat sex, and I couldn't care less.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008

"If you want to be treated like a fully functioning member of society try acting like one."

Are you fucking serious? This is exactly the same argument that has driven homophobia for centuries: if you want to be treated as a human being then stop engaging in unacceptable behaviour like gay sex.

I think the problem here is not beats per se, but the fact that websites like squirt exist at all. As hazy said, beats have been around forever, and they're something that hysterical tabloid reading families would never have known about if they weren't splashed all over the internet. Hell, even I couldn't tell you the location of more than one or two beats because I've never gone looking for them, and that's the way it should stay - this kind of info shouldn't be available to anyone who doesn't need to know about it.

And seriously, Asherbella, for someone who presents themselves as so fucking well adjusted you sure like to tell other people they have self-respect issues. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. I know quite a few gay men who'll happily "admit" to having beat sex, and I couldn't care less.

If you honestly think that having anonymous sex in public places is preferrable
to having sex with a man you know, respect and trust in the privacy of your bedroom, then you have serious intimacy issues.
The men who you know who 'happily admit' to having beat sex aren't worth knowing.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008

"If you want to be treated like a fully functioning member of society try acting like one."

Are you fucking serious? This is exactly the same argument that has driven homophobia for centuries: if you want to be treated as a human being then stop engaging in unacceptable behaviour like gay sex.

I think the problem here is not beats per se, but the fact that websites like squirt exist at all. As hazy said, beats have been around forever, and they're something that hysterical tabloid reading families would never have known about if they weren't splashed all over the internet. Hell, even I couldn't tell you the location of more than one or two beats because I've never gone looking for them, and that's the way it should stay - this kind of info shouldn't be available to anyone who doesn't need to know about it.

And seriously, Asherbella, for someone who presents themselves as so fucking well adjusted you sure like to tell other people they have self-respect issues. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. I know quite a few gay men who'll happily "admit" to having beat sex, and I couldn't care less.

Marcus' comment about acting like a fully functioning member of society critisized the indiscretion of having public sex, not *gay sex*.

rheiner

rheiner said on the 31st Oct, 2008

"The men who you know who 'happily admit' to having beat sex aren't worth knowing."


I can't stop laughing.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008

"If you want to be treated like a fully functioning member of society try acting like one."

Are you fucking serious? This is exactly the same argument that has driven homophobia for centuries: if you want to be treated as a human being then stop engaging in unacceptable behaviour like gay sex.

I think the problem here is not beats per se, but the fact that websites like squirt exist at all. As hazy said, beats have been around forever, and they're something that hysterical tabloid reading families would never have known about if they weren't splashed all over the internet. Hell, even I couldn't tell you the location of more than one or two beats because I've never gone looking for them, and that's the way it should stay - this kind of info shouldn't be available to anyone who doesn't need to know about it.

And seriously, Asherbella, for someone who presents themselves as so fucking well adjusted you sure like to tell other people they have self-respect issues. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. I know quite a few gay men who'll happily "admit" to having beat sex, and I couldn't care less.

I wonder if the *quite a few gay men* that you know who happily admit to having beat sex to YOU would then tell their workmates, neighbours, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and grandparents of their love of recreational toilet sex fetish?

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008

"The men who you know who 'happily admit' to having beat sex aren't worth knowing."


I can't stop laughing.

You WILL stop laughing when your beat sex friends tell you that they're HIV positive.

rheiner

rheiner said on the 31st Oct, 2008

Oh for fuck's sake. It's perfectly possibly to have safe sex anywhere, just as it's perfectly possible to have unsafe sex anywhere.

And for someone who thinks talking to people who have beat sex is beneath him, you certainly claim to know a lot about exactly what happens at beats.

Tedious.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008

Oh for fuck's sake. It's perfectly possibly to have safe sex anywhere, just as it's perfectly possible to have unsafe sex anywhere.

And for someone who thinks talking to people who have beat sex is beneath him, you certainly claim to know a lot about exactly what happens at beats.

Tedious.

Toilets are for relieving yourself of urine, not semen.
Honestly, how could you ever hope to nurture a meaningful, long-term relationship with someone after having fucked them in a toilet without even knowing them?
The reason I *know* so much about toilet sex is because I was nearly raped in a toilet at age 17, you fuckwit. Thank God the toilets were patrolled by police at the time. I didn't expect it, I didn't seek sex out while I was there. I will speak out against public sex until the day I die.

honest

honest said on the 31st Oct, 2008

In my opinion beat sex is for losers who don't have the courage to commit to a monogamous and meaningful relationship.

You summed it Asherbelle when you mentioned some people have intimacy issues and that largely is the downfall for gay rights in this town.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008

In my opinion beat sex is for losers who don't have the courage to commit to a monogamous and meaningful relationship.

You summed it Asherbelle when you mentioned some people have intimacy issues and that largely is the downfall for gay rights in this town.

Not every gay man HAS TO WANT to be in a monogamous, loving relationship in order to be respected. That was never my point. My point is this: beat sex is cheap sex in an unsafe environment. Beat sex is physically unsafe; it is legally crippling if you get caught; you can destroy your career, your (mental & physical) health -- even your life.

To beat sex participants: go ahead and enjoy yourselves. It's your funeral.

Gay men having *intimacy* issues will happen regardless of WHERE they have sex. Gay rights are a matter of equality; not behaviour. All gay men & lesbians deserve the right to get married - regardless of whether they fuck in toilets or not.

taylor-dayne

taylor-dayne said on the 31st Oct, 2008

asherbella, if given the choice between having HIV or listening to your ill informed sanctimonious crap, i think i'd take the HIV.

let's just break this down shall we?

1. HIV and beat sex are not mutually exclusive. not all beat sex is penetrative or risky. just like all sex done within the bedroom is not safe. you're obviously pretty sheltered in this respect - i would have thought these facts were common sense.

2. it's great that we no longer need straight people to judge us and police our sexuality - now we have people like you and honest to do it for us. we've all had very different experiences that have brought us to where we are - how dare you presume to know what motivates people? who are you to judge or make assumptions about other people's lives, just because you were "almost raped" (what does that even mean?) at 17? it's hardly an excuse for narrowmindedness. get some therapy.

3. squirt has basically managed to make money from beats, from sexualising them, from taking what is private and secret and commodifying it. it's wrong. but typically, like most gay men, nobody is willing to log off and turn off the computers, so it stays alive. beats existed long before squirt, and if anything is going to kill them off in the end, it's sites like that. it makes beats more dangerous and people who use them more vulnerable.

4. why are you so bothered by what other people are doing in their sex lives? who cares if three men are jerking each other off in a park at 3am? what does it have to do with you? you think that people who have beat sex aren't worth knowing, how is that any different from gay bashing?

the truth is that you have so many self-esteem issues and so much internalised homophobia that you can hardly breathe.

i am not saying beats are good or bad, i am just saying that they still exist (primarily because of people like you). why don't you go and focus on something that actually matters? like finding that all important "man you know, respect and trust" who can fuck you "in the privacy of your bedroom".

amen.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008

asherbella, if given the choice between having HIV or listening to your ill informed sanctimonious crap, i think i'd take the HIV.

let's just break this down shall we?

1. HIV and beat sex are not mutually exclusive. not all beat sex is penetrative or risky. just like all sex done within the bedroom is not safe. you're obviously pretty sheltered in this respect - i would have thought these facts were common sense.

2. it's great that we no longer need straight people to judge us and police our sexuality - now we have people like you and honest to do it for us. we've all had very different experiences that have brought us to where we are - how dare you presume to know what motivates people? who are you to judge or make assumptions about other people's lives, just because you were "almost raped" (what does that even mean?) at 17? it's hardly an excuse for narrowmindedness. get some therapy.

3. squirt has basically managed to make money from beats, from sexualising them, from taking what is private and secret and commodifying it. it's wrong. but typically, like most gay men, nobody is willing to log off and turn off the computers, so it stays alive. beats existed long before squirt, and if anything is going to kill them off in the end, it's sites like that. it makes beats more dangerous and people who use them more vulnerable.

4. why are you so bothered by what other people are doing in their sex lives? who cares if three men are jerking each other off in a park at 3am? what does it have to do with you? you think that people who have beat sex aren't worth knowing, when the truth is you have so many self-esteem issues and so much internalised homophobia that you can hardly breathe.

1. If you feel you are tough enough and shallow enough to enjoy toilet sex, more power to you. I won't be the one there dialling 000 to save your life on being bashed.
2. The propensity to enjoy toilet sex is a matter of taste and priority - not *internalized homophobia*.
3. The state of my homosexuality is not dependant upon having cheap & easy sex in a public place.
4. The existance of a phenomenon does not validate it's justification. Beat sex exists; therefore they're okay? Ha!

taylor-dayne

taylor-dayne said on the 31st Oct, 2008

whatever gets you through the night honey.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008



Translation: I agree with you but my ego prevents me from saying so.

dreadcircus

dreadcircus said on the 31st Oct, 2008

1. If you feel you are tough enough and shallow enough to enjoy toilet sex, more power to you. I won't be the one there dialling 000 to save your life on being bashed.
2. The propensity to enjoy toilet sex is a matter of taste and priority - not *internalized homophobia*.
3. The state of my homosexuality is not dependant upon having cheap & easy sex in a public place.
4. The existance of a phenomenon does not validate it's justification. Beat sex exists; therefore they're okay? Ha!


Wow so many rules.. I thought to be gay you just had to want to be with the same sex? Now there are strict rules?

The only reason I dislike the BEAT concept is the typical stench of toilets, could never imagine getting off around it.. but thats me, each to their own as long as nobody is hurt.

honest

honest said on the 31st Oct, 2008

Not every gay man HAS TO WANT to be in a monogamous, loving relationship in order to be respected. That was never my point. My point is this: beat sex is cheap sex in an unsafe environment. Beat sex is physically unsafe; it is legally crippling if you get caught; you can destroy your career, your (mental & physical) health -- even your life.

To beat sex participants: go ahead and enjoy yourselves. It's your funeral.

Gay men having *intimacy* issues will happen regardless of WHERE they have sex. Gay rights are a matter of equality; not behaviour. All gay men & lesbians deserve the right to get married - regardless of whether they fuck in toilets or not.

Don't get me wrong I agree with you and certainly not every gay man has to want a monogamous loving relationship either, but in my opinion beat sex isn't a worthwhile alternative.




I'm sure there's a lot of victims of this devastating disease who'd disagree with you. How insensitive.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 31st Oct, 2008


You obviously enjoy the adrenaline rush of beat sex. It's convenient for you, just like drive-thru Burger king. I don't *eat* sexual fast food. I *eat* gourmet restaurant quality sex....
Beat sex dehumanizes people. Sexual objectification of humans in an unsafe, public & dangerous environment under the guise of cheap, immediate and anonymous sexual lust works for you on some level. Fine, I get it. Not participating in beat sex doesn't make me less homosexual than you are, nor does it make me self-loathing.

Chancethegardener

Chancethegardener said on the 1st Nov, 2008

You obviously enjoy the adrenaline rush of beat sex. It's convenient for you, just like drive-thru Burger king. I don't *eat* sexual fast food. I *eat* gourmet restaurant quality sex....
Beat sex dehumanizes people. Sexual objectification of humans in an unsafe, public & dangerous environment under the guise of cheap, immediate and anonymous sexual lust works for you on some level. Fine, I get it. Not participating in beat sex doesn't make me less homosexual than you are, nor does it make me self-loathing.

I have to add... Nor does your disdain for beat sex make you a better homosexual - your posts certainly suggest that you believe it does.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 1st Nov, 2008




What? There are degrees of quality homosexuals? No. Since when does same-sex arousal denote character? lol! Beat sex is not a *gay* issue for me - it's a personal safety, self-respect and health matter to me.

My choice not to do beat sex is an *Asher* issue, not a *gay* one.

My behaviour reflects my priorities in life.

Public venue sex has never been a priority of mine; it's simply not my style, inclination or scene. Period.

zebra-stripes

zebra-stripes said on the 1st Nov, 2008

"If you want to be treated like a fully functioning member of society try acting like one."

Are you fucking serious? This is exactly the same argument that has driven homophobia for centuries: if you want to be treated as a human being then stop engaging in unacceptable behaviour like gay sex.

Yeah but there are limits to that.

I've heard stories (just stories probably) of guys having sex openly in toilet blocks. That sort if thing is crossing a massive line.

Having discrete sex, in darkness, behind some trees.... who could have a problem with that? I'm sure greenies do it all the time.

weathervain

weathervain said on the 1st Nov, 2008



I've heard stories (just stories probably) of guys having sex openly in toilet blocks. That sort if thing is crossing a massive line.

Having discrete sex, in darkness, behind some trees.... who could have a problem with that? I'm sure greenies do it all the time.

Yeah I saw two guys fucking in a toilet block openly when I first went to St Kilda Beach, it was around midday so just plain stupid, I managed to stop my best mate from walking in and seeing it, he probably would have flipped out and started throwing punches, I told him why we couldn't go in the toilets later and he got that angry, not out of homophobia but just yeah keep it to yourself no one needs to see that.

Chancethegardener

Chancethegardener said on the 1st Nov, 2008



Astounding comment. Betrays your position of moral ascendancy.



But isn't that what you've been doing throughout this thread?



Judgie McJudge.



Read: 'Compared to me, the way you live your life is facile and baseless. I look down on you. You are a worthless human being.' Judgie McJudge's decree of his own honourable and untouchable superiority.



Judgie McJudge won't eat anywhere that doesn't have a least one Michelin Star. Everyone can't help but live in Judgie McJudge's vast, expensive, and gourmet shadow.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 1st Nov, 2008

Astounding comment. Betrays your position of moral ascendancy.



But isn't that what you've been doing throughout this thread?



Judgie McJudge.



Read: 'Compared to me, the way you live your life is facile and baseless. I look down on you. You are a worthless human being.' Judgie McJudge's decree of his own honourable and untouchable superiority.



Judgie McJudge won't eat anywhere that doesn't have a least one Michelin Star. Everyone can't help but live in Judgie McJudge's vast, expensive, and gourmet shadow.

You're acting like it's my duty as a homosexual man to have sex in toilets.
Why?
If *facile* and *baseless* works for you, that's lovely. It doesn't work for me.
My need to protect my reputation, my health, my safety doesn't make me *superior* -- it makes me protected and discreet.
If you approve of beat sex so much, I dare you to post your full name, date of birth, your mobile number and the public venues you visit for sex right now. Go and tell your boss, your Mum and your grandmother that being gay affords you to be above the law by having sex in public places. See what happens.

hazyinseptember

hazyinseptember said on the 1st Nov, 2008

ok.. there are some really dumb comments made here..



what percent of beat sex ACTUALLY involves anal penetration?? very little in my experience..

have you done a beat before? if not how do you know exactly what men who do beats are thinking..

in my experience most are very prepared, and a large amount of the sex as safe as you would get at a sex club.. although i have seem some seriously unsafe sex too, from people who should know better..



i have said in these forums before that i have had beat sex!

does this make you a better person than me?



so your workmates, neighbours, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and grandparents know EXACTLY what your favourite sex positions are and EXACTLY what you get up to in your bedroom?

and some of the guys at work do know what i get up to, and i can guarantee if there was a straight version of beat sex they would be in like a shot..



mostly spot on..

although MOST beats are NOT TOILET BLOCKS.. any secluded place can be a beat..

parks, sand dunes, beaches, abandoned buildings..

YES beat sex is risky.. and i think that is part of the attraction for some people. BUT done smart and discretely KNOW ONE would even know beats exist.

there are two parks that go off in Brisbane on certain nights .. large, dark and well away from people..



since when is sex only about nurturing a meaningful, long-term relationship?

do you only have sex with people you want to have a long-term relationship with?




this is terrible! :( im sorry you had to go through this..

but male rape can happen regardless of the location..

hetrosexual rape exists without any kind of hetrosexual beat existing..



fair enough... it can!!

that is the risk people take..

but for some men out there it's the only male-on-male sex they can have...

regardless of how you view bisexuality and "men who have sex with men", this is SOMETIMES their only option..



so someone who drives a car deserves it if they die in a car accident?



beat sex for some people is not about the sex, its about the excitement and anonymity..

even 5 start gourmet food can get boring every day..



really?? please explain?? i believe beat sex actually taps into a very primal level of human behaviour..

I am polarized on the issue that beat sex still exists..

do we still need it? like other posters have said there ARE some venues that make beat's obsolete. But yet they still exist and pop up with ever more frequency..

hazyinseptember

hazyinseptember said on the 1st Nov, 2008



agreed.. really bad behaviour ..

public sex and public cruising is really bad form when others just want to use facilites ( be they toilets, parks, whatever )

some people ruin it for everyone..

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 1st Nov, 2008

ok.. there are some really dumb comments made here..



what percent of beat sex ACTUALLY involves anal penetration?? very little in my experience..

have you done a beat before? if not how do you know exactly what men who do beats are thinking..

in my experience most are very prepared, and a large amount of the sex as safe as you would get at a sex club.. although i have seem some seriously unsafe sex too, from people who should know better..



i have said in these forums before that i have had beat sex!

does this make you a better person than me?



so your workmates, neighbours, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and grandparents know EXACTLY what your favourite sex positions are and EXACTLY what you get up to in your bedroom?

and some of the guys at work do know what i get up to, and i can guarantee if there was a straight version of beat sex they would be in like a shot..



mostly spot on..

although MOST beats are NOT TOILET BLOCKS.. any secluded place can be a beat..

parks, sand dunes, beaches, abandoned buildings..

YES beat sex is risky.. and i think that is part of the attraction for some people. BUT done smart and discretely KNOW ONE would even know beats exist.

there are two parks that go off in Brisbane on certain nights .. large, dark and well away from people..



since when is sex only about nurturing a meaningful, long-term relationship?

do you only have sex with people you want to have a long-term relationship with?




this is terrible! :( im sorry you had to go through this..

but male rape can happen regardless of the location..

hetrosexual rape exists without any kind of hetrosexual beat existing..



fair enough... it can!!

that is the risk people take..

but for some men out there it's the only male-on-male sex they can have...

regardless of how you view bisexuality and "men who have sex with men", this is SOMETIMES their only option..



so someone who drives a car deserves it if they die in a car accident?



beat sex for some people is not about the sex, its about the excitement and anonymity..

even 5 start gourmet food can get boring every day..



really?? please explain?? i believe beat sex actually taps into a very primal level of human behaviour..

I am polarized on the issue that beat sex still exists..

do we still need it? like other posters have said there ARE some venues that make beat's obsolete. But yet they still exist and pop up with ever more frequency..

You engaging in beat sex makes you an opportunistic, desperate risk-taker. Being desperate is a weakness, not a character flaw. I DON'T think I'm better than you. Beat sex is your chosen coping mechanism in the face of sexual frustration or need for immediate *excitement* without the burden of socializing before seducing someone for sex. It serves you a purpose,(borne out of desperation) you and you alone can only measure how effective that purpose is.

Christian Taylor

Christian Taylor said on the 1st Nov, 2008



you should probably stop stating your opinions as facts in this particular debate asherbella, because it's pretty obvious you don't actually know what you're talking about.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 1st Nov, 2008


Since when have I declared my opinions as fact? I've detailed the psychological need that I believe makes beat sex so attractive. So what? you are only threatened by my posts because perhaps they're too close to home? If nobody is allowed to voice an opinion here then what the fuck are we all doing on these SameSame forums in the first place? Why go out of your way to acknowledge someone who doesn't know what they're talking about? What? Am I writing in code? No.

gaynproud

gaynproud said on the 1st Nov, 2008



I am sorry Ashabella but you really seem to enjoy thrusting (excuse the pun) your opinions on everyone in virtually every thread that you decide to dominate and as soon as someone says things you don't like you get all uppity and throw an online tantrem. Given the amount times that you post in a given day and it seems almost every day you do this I think it would do you the world of good to get away from the computer screen and get out in the fresh air and see that there is life outside in the great outdoors away from a computer that can actually be enjoyed. The great outdoors is just that, an incredible place to be out in the real world and not continually living in the cyber world like you seem to enjoy.
I realize that by stating this now you will no doubt log straight back on and abuse me as well. That's alright as I won't be at my screen. Gee I might even go and check a beat out for the first time in ages just for the hell of it and get some quick meaningless release and some great fresh air. :)

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 1st Nov, 2008

I am sorry Ashabella but you really seem to enjoy thrusting (excuse the pun) your opinions on everyone in virtually every thread that you decide to dominate and as soon as someone says things you don't like you get all uppity and throw an online tantrem. Given the amount times that you post in a given day and it seems almost every day you do this I think it would do you the world of good to get away from the computer screen and get out in the fresh air and see that there is life outside in the great outdoors away from a computer that can actually be enjoyed. The great outdoors is just that, an incredible place to be out in the real world and not continually living in the cyber world like you seem to enjoy.
I realize that by stating this now you will no doubt log straight back on and abuse me as well. That's alright as I won't be at my screen. Gee I might even go and check a beat out for the first time in ages just for the hell of it and get some quick meaningless release and some great fresh air. :)

The only day off of work I have is Saturday, so Saturday is my 'computer' day. I have coffee, read the paper, talk to my sister on the phone, do a load of laundry, have lunch with a friend over the road and spend a few hours on the internet. Big deal.

I don't get *uppity*. I have simply stated what suits me. Beats don't suit me. So fuckin' shoot me!

hazyinseptember

hazyinseptember said on the 1st Nov, 2008



riiiiight!!!

love how you ignored all my points and went for an attack.. and made completely baseless accusations and great leaps of logic! Should i have been surprised ? believe me im not..

so now i just think your a total fuck whit who's so uptight that you cannot sit down without sucking up the furniture, sexually introverted ( possible mother complex ) and someone who is so afraid to step outside their own little box that they cannot comprehend that other people do not live their own crushed existence.

i tried to have a discussion with you, and realize now that i should not bother giving a opinion to someone who really cannot comprehend that not everyone wants to live their moralistic and tragic ideals..

have fun

Spooky

Spooky said on the 1st Nov, 2008

In my opinion beat sex is for losers who don't have the courage to commit to a monogamous and meaningful relationship.

You summed it Asherbelle when you mentioned some people have intimacy issues and that largely is the downfall for gay rights in this town.
Is George Michael a loser?

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 1st Nov, 2008

riiiiight!!!

love how you ignored all my points and went for an attack.. and made completely baseless accusations and great leaps of logic! Should i have been surprised ? believe me im not..

so now i just think your a total fuck whit who's so uptight that you cannot sit down without sucking up the furniture, sexually introverted ( possible mother complex ) and someone who is so afraid to step outside their own little box that they cannot comprehend that other people do not live their own crushed existence.

i tried to have a discussion with you, and realize now that i should not bother giving a opinion to someone who really cannot comprehend that not everyone wants to live their moralistic and tragic ideals..

have fun
I refuse to take your bait, mate. Argue me point by point if you can. Analysis is not the same as attack. I made an observation as to a possible mindset behind your motivations for enjoying beat sex - I never placed a judgment on those possible motivations of yours.
Being desperate is not illegal - but beat sex certainly is - that's not an issue of *morality* but REALITY.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 1st Nov, 2008


Yes. He drives through London while under the influence of drugs.

Chancethegardener

Chancethegardener said on the 1st Nov, 2008


so now i just think your a total fuck whit who's so uptight that you cannot sit down without sucking up the furniture, sexually introverted ( possible mother complex ) and someone who is so afraid to step outside their own little box that they cannot comprehend that other people do not live their own crushed existence.


I suspected as much when I saw the 'cat's bum' pursed lips... Just saying, is all. ;)

gaynproud

gaynproud said on the 1st Nov, 2008

The only day off of work I have is Saturday, so Saturday is my 'computer' day. I have coffee, read the paper, talk to my sister on the phone, do a load of laundry, have lunch with a friend over the road and spend a few hours on the internet. Big deal.

I don't get *uppity*. I have simply stated what suits me. Beats don't suit me. So fuckin' shoot me!

Man, you really need to get a life. It took you 5 minutes to log back on an launch an attack. You state that Saturday is your "computer day" but you are on here every day at all hours of the day and night talking absolute crap most of the time just to try and bate people. Unfortunately I feel you must be one lonely sad gay man . Do yourself a favour and switch off the computer and get out in the real world and let the sun shine on you for awhile instead sitting staring at a computer screen all the time. Maybe you should go to a sex on premises venue or beat and have some sex it would proberbly do you world of good but then again you would probably arrive at a sex on premises venue and log straight back onto their internet terminals or take your laptop with wireless internet to the beat with you to see what was recently updated on samesame.

sneakos

sneakos said on the 1st Nov, 2008

hey ash

bro - liek others have alluded too it seems liek u are analysing ppl and their choices to have sex at a beat

are you really aware of what goes on in th minds and motivations of others

as hazy said, perhaps beat sex is, for all those who choose that behaviour, all they are able to do atm, or perhaps they enjoy it, there's probably a myraid of reasons

they may not - for a variety of reasons - have the confidence or desire to do otherwise, for example

who is it for me to judge - i have had beat sex, and i have also done a whole lot of other things wrong in my life as well

(and btw: many of my friends, inc. straight friends have known that i have engaged in this behaviour - they dont judge)

does that make me a bad person

perhaps some would say yes - but do those same ppl engage in other activities that i would not consider for myself

as noted elsewhere in th thread, it is probably true that i had significant intimacy issues. given my start to life, that is not surprising. i am not making excuses, simply offering an explanation. for a long while i did the best i could with th resources that were availble - it may not have been ideal, but nonetheless, it was the best i could do at the time

i have since spent a lot of time, and energy coming to th point i am at now - and i am under no illusion that i am perfect - indeed far from it

i know that some things in my life that i am totally passionate about (inequalities in Indigenous Australia, for example) comes from my own lived experience of that phenomena

whilst ur analysing others, i cant help but wonder if ur own experience at 17 has, and continues to, influence ur thoughts about beats

just a thought

i do respect ur right to an opinion, however, not at the expense of others when (my best guess) would be that you are not familiar with all the circumstances of those ppl

pete

hazyinseptember

hazyinseptember said on the 1st Nov, 2008



i did .. you ignored and attacked..



the only analysis in your observation were the anal comments..

perhaps you need to read what you wrote, as it was possibly written by your other personality..

honest

honest said on the 2nd Nov, 2008



In my opinion yes. We are allowed an independent opinion in here aren't we?

Spooky

Spooky said on the 2nd Nov, 2008



Asherbella. What has that got to do with this thread/debate/argument?
He is also famous, successful and does beats.

BTW what do you think of Saunas?

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 2nd Nov, 2008

i did .. you ignored and attacked..



the only analysis in your observation were the anal comments..

perhaps you need to read what you wrote, as it was possibly written by your other personality..

So you don't deny your engaging in beat sex is a symptom of your sexual frustration?

Anyone who pulls their dick out in any public place or in a public toilet with the intent of sexual gratification with another person/people is desperate; gay, straight or bisexual. I'm not going to apologize for writing that comment.

Go home and have sex.
Go to a sauna and have sex.
Go to his place and have sex.
Like a normal, healthy human-being.

There is no legitimate excuse to have sex in public. Never.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 2nd Nov, 2008

Asherbella. What has that got to do with this thread/debate/argument?
He is also famous, successful and does beats.

BTW what do you think of Saunas?


Saunas are great places for casual & recreational sex between gay/bisexual adult men in a clean, safe, private, anonymous environment and I absolutely applaud their existance and patronage.

Spooky

Spooky said on the 2nd Nov, 2008

Keep your shirt on, it was a simple question.

hazyinseptember

hazyinseptember said on the 2nd Nov, 2008

So you don't deny your engaging in beat sex is a symptom of your sexual frustration?

Anyone who pulls their dick out in any public place or in a public toilet with the intent of sexual gratification with another person/people is desperate; gay, straight or bisexual. I'm not going to apologize for writing that comment.

Go home and have sex.
Go to a sauna and have sex.
Go to his place and have sex.
Like a normal, healthy human-being.

There is no legitimate excuse to have sex in public. Never.

sexual frustration seems to be your line Asherbella.. maybe why your so uptight and seem so ready to throw these accusations around! Casual sex seems, in your eyes, to make people desperate and sexually frustrated, which is so far from the truth that its almost sad you cannot grasp it.

you have yet to respond to any of the points i made.. showing everyone in this thread just how ridiculous your arguments really are. Obviously to respond in a decent way is way above what we can expect from you, as its clear you cannot handle someone putting forward a decent argument against you.

please stamp your foot and scream ' its my opinion' some more as its quite hilarious watching you make an even bigger fool of yourself..

basically your full of shit, have not the slightest clue as to what your raving on about!

i can't believe your demonizing something as base level as sex is, based upon location of all things.. next you'll be screaming were all rapist's and pedophiles as well..

have fun

hazyinseptember

hazyinseptember said on the 2nd Nov, 2008



of course his shirt will stay on firmly.. otherwise he might let on he's desperate and sexually frustrated! :D

gaynproud

gaynproud said on the 2nd Nov, 2008

:confused:
Are you being sarcastic or funny?

Oh Asherbella I can see those lips of your pursing even more now. You really don't know when to stop do you...Oh well I suppose it gives you something to do while you sit glued to your computer screen. It probably turns you on getting reactions from people. just don't spray over your keyboard or get lube on your keyboard as then your keys will stick and your responseas will become even more hysterical.
Shame you forgot that you had said Saturday was your computer day. See what happens when you stay glued to the computer screen all the time. Its now Sunday night and you still think it is Saturday.

Now what will you key in next to entertain us....:) :) :)

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 2nd Nov, 2008

sexual frustration seems to be your line Asherbella.. maybe why your so uptight and seem so ready to throw these accusations around! Casual sex seems, in your eyes, to make people desperate and sexually frustrated, which is so far from the truth that its almost sad you cannot grasp it.

you have yet to respond to any of the points i made.. showing everyone in this thread just how ridiculous your arguments really are. Obviously to respond in a decent way is way above what we can expect from you, as its clear you cannot handle someone putting forward a decent argument against you.

please stamp your foot and scream ' its my opinion' some more as its quite hilarious watching you make an even bigger fool of yourself..

basically your full of shit, have not the slightest clue as to what your raving on about!

i can't believe your demonizing something as base level as sex is, based upon location of all things.. next you'll be screaming were all rapist's and pedophiles as well..

have fun
No, no, no. You've misunderstood me. Sexual frustration is perfectly natural. It is your EXPRESSION and chosen METHOD of relieving your sexual frustration that I find distasteful.

Again: Anyone who does beat sex is desperate. What part of this simple statement are you having trouble understanding????If you chose to relieve yourself in a sauna or in the privacy of your bedroom that's great. Even if it's with passing trade or a one-night stand.

Casual sex is great.

Casual sex at a beat is pathetic. And just plain stupid.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 2nd Nov, 2008

Oh Asherbella I can see those lips of your pursing even more now. You really don't know when to stop do you...Oh well I suppose it gives you something to do while you sit glued to your computer screen. It probably turns you on getting reactions from people. just don't spray over your keyboard or get lube on your keyboard as then your keys will stick and your responseas will become even more hysterical.
Shame you forgot that you had said Saturday was your computer day. See what happens when you stay glued to the computer screen all the time. Its now Sunday night and you still think it is Saturday.

Now what will you key in next to entertain us....:) :) :)

Ho-hum.

:p

Spooky

Spooky said on the 2nd Nov, 2008



My remark was meant for Honest as I simply asked him if George Michael was a loser and, well if you scroll back up you will see his reply.

By the way beats are good if they can expose hypocritical, homophobic Republican Senators; as has recently happened in the US and not to forget (showing my age here) our own Alan Jones. Caught pulling his pud in a cottage in London in the 80s.

Mama Catastrophe

Mama Catastrophe said on the 2nd Nov, 2008

Asherbella,
Enough! You are making a complete and utter fool of yourself. Beats aren’t for you that’s fine but it doesn’t give you the right to provide an ill-informed psychoanalysis on those who do enjoy them

In your posts you have stated that guys who use beats are:
• Not worth knowing
• Shallow
• Opportunistic
• Desperate.
• Abnormal
• Unhealthy

You state the some of the motives for guys having beat sex as:
• A coping mechanism in the face of sexual frustration
• A need for immediate excitement without the burden of socializing before seducing someone for sex
• An enjoyment of the adrenaline rush of beat sex.

You also state that beat sex;
• Dehumanizes people.
• Is facile and baseless
• Pathetic

The problem with all your points is that you have written them as facts and not as opinions. If you are going to post something as a fact you must be able to qualify and quantify it when questioned – if its just an opinion, state it. Try using terms such as “ I believe” or “In my opinion” before making statements.

To Mama is sounds like your views on beats have formed from your experience with the near rape – but that’s your reality and not everybody else’s. You might go on a rollercoaster and have the most horrendous time, but that doesn’t automatically make all rollercoaster’s and the people that enjoy them bad.. You’re entitled to post whatever you like in these forums but until you can recognize, accept and acknowledge your own prejudices and their origins and separate your opinions/beliefs from facts your posts are going to be open to attack and ridicule.

Bren

Bren said on the 2nd Nov, 2008



I think (lack of) sexual consent, rather than location, is the more applicable measure of what is sexually dehumanising. First and foremost, it's about what you do and how, not where you do it. Likewise for STI risk: unprotected sex is unprotected sex no matter where you do it.

As someone, seemingly wise at the time, said in another thread:

Meanwhile...


Because your narrowly defined reality exclusively constitutes normality and health? I don't think so :)



Bags you be the one to tell that to most other living organisms on the planet. Go spank those naughty monkeys! LOL. With all the hot air and hyperbole, you would think we were living in Dubai...

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 3rd Nov, 2008

Asherbella,
Enough! You are making a complete and utter fool of yourself. Beats arent for you thats fine but it doesnt give you the right to provide an ill-informed psychoanalysis on those who do enjoy them

In your posts you have stated that guys who use beats are:
Not worth knowing
Shallow
Opportunistic
Desperate.
Abnormal
Unhealthy

You state the some of the motives for guys having beat sex as:
A coping mechanism in the face of sexual frustration
A need for immediate excitement without the burden of socializing before seducing someone for sex
An enjoyment of the adrenaline rush of beat sex.

You also state that beat sex;
Dehumanizes people.
Is facile and baseless
Pathetic

The problem with all your points is that you have written them as facts and not as opinions. If you are going to post something as a fact you must be able to qualify and quantify it when questioned if its just an opinion, state it. Try using terms such as I believe or In my opinion before making statements.

To Mama is sounds like your views on beats have formed from your experience with the near rape but thats your reality and not everybody elses. You might go on a rollercoaster and have the most horrendous time, but that doesnt automatically make all rollercoasters and the people that enjoy them bad.. Youre entitled to post whatever you like in these forums but until you can recognize, accept and acknowledge your own prejudices and their origins and separate your opinions/beliefs from facts your posts are going to be open to attack and ridicule.

I don't have a *prejudice* against beats. My dislike of beats are based on my values, not bias. My values are based on my definition of what it means to me to be a reasonable thinking, self-respecting adult. My belief is that going to a beat with the express intent of jerking off with another bloke is tasteless and an act of desperation. Nobody should be subjected to the public sex acts of anyone. Why is that such an outrageous and prejudiced statement to make? Being gay does not give the homosexual community the right to break the law in regards to their involvement/support of beats. Beats are not an issue of gay rights or tolerance, but personal responsibility in ensuring that the act of sex is contained within the safe, clean, respectable boundaries of a private residence (or sauna) embedded in Australian Law.

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 3rd Nov, 2008

I think (lack of) sexual consent, rather than location, is the more applicable measure of what is sexually dehumanising. First and foremost, it's about what you do and how, not where you do it. Likewise for STI risk: unprotected sex is unprotected sex no matter where you do it.

As someone, seemingly wise at the time, said in another thread:

Meanwhile...


Because your narrowly defined reality exclusively constitutes normality and health? I don't think so :)



Bags you be the one to tell that to most other living organisms on the planet. Go spank those naughty monkeys! LOL. With all the hot air and hyperbole, you would think we were living in Dubai...

I've got a project for you. Go print a T-shirt that reads 'I enjoy having beat sex with strangers' . Wear this T-shirt for 7 consecutive days; at work, while grocery shopping, to your Mum's place, while out on the town having lunch with friends.
No? Why not? If you believe that beat sex to be normal, healthy, acceptable, you'd have no qualms in wearing the T-shirt. Go ahead, I dare you.

sneakos

sneakos said on the 3rd Nov, 2008



it is not outrageous to pre-empt your statements with: "my dislike...", "my values...", "my belief is..."

you are entitled to ur opinions/beliefs/vlues/etc

what is outrageous is that you have previoulsy stated ur opinion as thought it were fact

your final statement "beats are not an issues of gay rights...but personal responsibility...etc" is not necessarily an opinion that would be shared by everybody

pete

Bren

Bren said on the 3rd Nov, 2008



Agreed.



"Safe , clean respectable boundaries" is a generalisation and a subjective value judgement (presumably based on the negative personal experience you mentioned earlier). Real life, on the other hand, is not as compartmentalised as you make out. Open your eyes, lad. The world is not divided into beats and non-beats and sex outside of the bedroom is not the exclusive practice of gay men.

I've got a project for you. Go print a T-shirt that reads 'I enjoy having beat sex with strangers' . Wear this T-shirt for 7 consecutive days; at work, while grocery shopping, to your Mum's place, while out on the town having lunch with friends.

No? Why not? If you believe that beat sex to be normal, healthy, acceptable, you'd have no qualms in wearing the T-shirt. Go ahead, I dare you.

Truly, this is irrelevant nonsense. When did reactions to a t-shirt slogan become the ultimate decider on whether or not something is "normal, healthy, acceptable"?

Wearing a shirt that simply says "I suck cock" would probably elicit adverse reactions too, in most of the situations you describe and depending on the cultural surroundings. (San Franscisco might elicit friendly glances and a chuckle, whereas Saudi Arabia might get you a death sentence).

Nice way to dodge the substance of my earlier post though. I guess you can't really explain why you think location, as opposed to consent, determines whether a sexual act is dehumanising. I'd think that an act of rape committed in the "safe, clean, respectable boundaries of a private residence" is unequivocally dehumanising compared to discreet consensual sex at a beat. As I said before, it's primarily about what happens and how, not where.

mjm078

mjm078 said on the 3rd Nov, 2008

i don't see what the fuss is about?

I am of the opinion that there is nothing wrong with beat sex as long as the wider communities health and safety is not compromised.......

Having sex at a beat is not to dissimilar to a gay or straight couples who have a bit of fun at the beach or in the park on a sunny day......It's all about the thrill of getting caught and as long as no one else is hurt or traumatised I say go for it....within reason of course....

I suppose you could say the only difference being that gay/bi even straight men who visit beats are not interested in forming emotional relationships with the other person who they are engaging in the sexual act with....but you could say that about men in general.....I think it all comes back to sexual instincts....but you could argue against this with the prevalence of one night stands gay or straight....

I don't think it is fair to equate a greater risk of STI's and HIV infection with beats......We all know that this comes down to the safety practices of the individuals.....The location of the act has nothing to do with your chances of contracting something.......It is all dependent on how safe you play EVERYTIME you play....

On a lighter note I have a funny beat story from my younger days I use to visit a beach close to my folks home regularly and it was a bitch of a beach to get to it was a 1 kilometer walk down stairs to the beach and then the same back up on the way home which meant it was the domain of the adult with no kids! YAY.....

Anyway I was once got to the "interesting" part of the beach (at the end of a track) and was sitting waiting and after about 15 mins as nothing was happening so I decided to leave. As I rounded a corner (the only way out) I came across a straight couple going hammer and tongs for it up a head......I was so embarrassed and didn't know what to do and the only way out was to walk right past them on the track......To scared to walk past them I sat there for an hour waiting for them to finish up and leave it was awful i was so sun burnt by the end of the day....

For the record I haven't been to a beat in years I am loved up and married these days.....doesn't mean we have to keep it just for the bedroom though.......

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 3rd Nov, 2008

Agreed.



"Safe , clean respectable boundaries" is a generalisation and a subjective value judgement (presumably based on the negative personal experience you mentioned earlier). Real life, on the other hand, is not as compartmentalised as you make out. Open your eyes, lad. The world is not divided into beats and non-beats and sex outside of the bedroom is not the exclusive practice of gay men.



Truly, this is irrelevant nonsense. When did reactions to a t-shirt slogan become the ultimate decider on whether or not something is "normal, healthy, acceptable"?

Wearing a shirt that simply says "I suck cock" would probably elicit adverse reactions too, in most of the situations you describe and depending on the cultural surroundings. (San Franscisco might elicit friendly glances and a chuckle, whereas Saudi Arabia might get you a death sentence).

Nice way to dodge the substance of my earlier post though. I guess you can't really explain why you think location, as opposed to consent, determines whether a sexual act is dehumanising. I'd think that an act of rape committed in the "safe, clean, respectable boundaries of a private residence" is unequivocally dehumanising compared to discreet consensual sex at a beat. As I said before, it's primarily about what happens and how, not where.
Would you consent to have your photo taken in a public toilet while sucking cock and then having that photo published on the internet? Because being a toilet, a public place, anybody can whip out their mobile phone at any given moment and take a snapshot. What is the likelihood of a stranger off the street wandering into your bedroom taking a picture of you performing a sex act? Nil.
I have been called a fuckwit by 'hazyinseptember' for not liking the idea, and not participating in, beat sex. Why? Have I called anyone rude names here? No.
I don't like beat sex. It is for desperate people who haven't the self-respect to conduct an intimate act in private. For this I have been abused. Whatever.
I'd like to think that modesty is a UNIVERSAL virtue in relation to the performing of sex acts, not a *cultural* concern. If you can't keep your cock in your pants in public, I'd question your self-respect - for both yourself and the sex object (other beat participant) in question. Beat sex is dehumanizing because the exposure of genitalia in the state of arousal is not a scenario a child should be subjected to. A nine year-old boy can wander into a public toilet a see you jerking off/cumming. Why? Because an underage child is a member of the public, too, that's why.
Consensual public sex is offensive because you should at least WANT to share an erotic, sensual, romantic, sexual experience as a private/special event between yourself and your lover(s) without spectators watching on in a vulnerable, shared space that is PUBLIC PROPERTY.

Spooky

Spooky said on the 3rd Nov, 2008

There is nothing wrong with promiscuous, anonymous public gay sex!
It might be the only way we see two gay strangers being nice to each other?

hazyinseptember

hazyinseptember said on the 3rd Nov, 2008


I have been called a fuckwit by 'hazyinseptember' for not liking the idea, and not participating in, beat sex.

twist the truth some more..

i called you a fuck whit because you ignore arguments that you cannot give any answer to and your debate is made up of vague double standards.. THAT is the reason



i'll let mama answer your question, as it seems you have forgotten your previous posts..


In your posts you have stated that guys who use beats are:
Not worth knowing
Shallow
Opportunistic
Desperate.
Abnormal
Unhealthy

You also state that beat sex;
Dehumanizes people.
Is facile and baseless
Pathetic

Bren

Bren said on the 4th Nov, 2008



Dodge questions and blur the issue, nice. Do you have anything other than skewed hypotheticals, tangents, and emotionally loaded presumptions to support your argument?

Aside from the fact that it can be lawful to photograph others on private premises without knowledge/consent in certain circumstances -- where the vantage point of the photographer is public or their own private premises; try counting the number of telescopic lenses peering out of balcony windows in Sydney sometime -- and that this could also very easily occur unlawfully (eg. at a sex-on-premises venue), how exactly does your above hypothetical scenario support -- or indeed bear ANY relevance to -- your earlier unequivocal condemnation that beat sex is a "dehumanising" act of the "desperate" (merely as a result of where it is done, rather than what and how)?



Nope. More evidently because you came in, guns blazing, denigrating anyone who did not conform to your hardline view on sex outside of the bedroom as "desperate people" with "psychological issues" (etc). What you sow, you reap.



Like I said, go spank those [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo#Sexual_social_behavior"]naughty "self-disrespecting" monkeys then. Modesty is not so universal a virtue after all, I guess.

While for some there probably is an element of exhibitionism or voyeurism that gives sex outside of the bedroom a certain allure, I doubt that everyone, nor even a majority, who engage in beat-sex are seeking to be watched. Add to that, many beats are (semi)secluded and/or active after dark. So the black-and-white picture you're basing your hardline stance upon just doesn't hold up to the reality.

Me personally, I wouldn't want to be watched during sex, anywhere, other than by the person I'm having sex with. But that doesn't lead me to unreasonably conclude that other people who like that, or who frequent areas where that might incidentally occur, are rancid perverts and degenerates. Again, it's primarily about what is done and how, not where.



Yes, that recent epidemic of children being exposed to gay men cruising in public areas was terrible, wasn't it... oh, what epidemic?

Meanwhile, children are at far greater risk of inappropriate exposure fumbling around the Internet within the "safe, clean, respectable boundaries of a private residence".



In other words... "Consensual public sex is offensive [to Asher] because [in Asher's opinion, everyone] should at least WANT to share an erotic, sensual, romantic, sexual experience as a private/special event between [themselves and their] lover(s) [-- because Asher said so, and his view is the central authority on human sexuality, of course -- ] without spectators watching on in a vulnerable, shared space that is PUBLIC PROPERTY [whether or not such spectators even exist]."

zebra-stripes

zebra-stripes said on the 4th Nov, 2008

I think the whole toilet thing is dodgy and asking for trouble.

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24600582-5001021,00.html

weathervain

weathervain said on the 4th Nov, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4Jvin0sD5M

zebra-stripes

zebra-stripes said on the 4th Nov, 2008

http://youtube.com/watch?v=wcRnMfZyYrw

Spooky

Spooky said on the 4th Nov, 2008

Thanks weathervain and zebra-stripes, very cute and clever. Some wit was desperately needed.

weathervain

weathervain said on the 4th Nov, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeHQA-9aaD4

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 4th Nov, 2008

Dodge questions and blur the issue, nice. Do you have anything other than skewed hypotheticals, tangents, and emotionally loaded presumptions to support your argument?

Aside from the fact that it can be lawful to photograph others on private premises without knowledge/consent in certain circumstances -- where the vantage point of the photographer is public or their own private premises; try counting the number of telescopic lenses peering out of balcony windows in Sydney sometime -- and that this could also very easily occur unlawfully (eg. at a sex-on-premises venue), how exactly does your above hypothetical scenario support -- or indeed bear ANY relevance to -- your earlier unequivocal condemnation that beat sex is a "dehumanising" act of the "desperate" (merely as a result of where it is done, rather than what and how)?

Beat sex is not my style or scene. We can stay here and argue over semantics and double-speak and misconstrue one another but the bottom line is:
1. Beat sex is unsafe (physically in terms of potential homophobic bashings, legally in terms of arrest & in terms of hygiene if performed in an unclean environment)
2. Beat sex is illegal
3. I feel that beat sex is an act of desperation by individuals who disrespect themselves. The act of sex SHOULD be performed in private. If that makes me unpopular I couldn't give a shit.

If I go on any further about this issue I'd be repeating myself. I've made myself clear. I guess I'm just old-fashioned, I'm a nerd for being so 'prudish' about needing sex to be a nice, seductive interlude performed in the comfort & privacy of my (or his) bedroom. Oh, well. This is my last post here in this particular thread.




Nope. More evidently because you came in, guns blazing, denigrating anyone who did not conform to your hardline view on sex outside of the bedroom as "desperate people" with "psychological issues" (etc). What you sow, you reap.



Like I said, go spank those [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo#Sexual_social_behavior"]naughty "self-disrespecting" monkeys then. Modesty is not so universal a virtue after all, I guess.

While for some there probably is an element of exhibitionism or voyeurism that gives sex outside of the bedroom a certain allure, I doubt that everyone, nor even a majority, who engage in beat-sex are seeking to be watched. Add to that, many beats are (semi)secluded and/or active after dark. So the black-and-white picture you're basing your hardline stance upon just doesn't hold up to the reality.

Me personally, I wouldn't want to be watched during sex, anywhere, other than by the person I'm having sex with. But that doesn't lead me to unreasonably conclude that other people who like that, or who frequent areas where that might incidentally occur, are rancid perverts and degenerates. Again, it's primarily about what is done and how, not where.



Yes, that recent epidemic of children being exposed to gay men cruising in public areas was terrible, wasn't it... oh, what epidemic?

Meanwhile, children are at far greater risk of inappropriate exposure fumbling around the Internet within the "safe, clean, respectable boundaries of a private residence".



In other words... "Consensual public sex is offensive [to Asher] because [in Asher's opinion, everyone] should at least WANT to share an erotic, sensual, romantic, sexual experience as a private/special event between [themselves and their] lover(s) [-- because Asher said so, and his view is the central authority on human sexuality, of course -- ] without spectators watching on in a vulnerable, shared space that is PUBLIC PROPERTY [whether or not such spectators even exist]."

Beat sex is not my scene, not my style. We can both argue ourselves around in circles forever. I guess my not liking or engaging in beat sex makes me an outcast on these boards, but I don't care.

Beat sex is unsafe and is a disrespectful act of desperation. I'm not sorry for airing my views on this topic. If you do beat sex just be careful and responsible. It seems that's the only constructive thing I can offer here without being thought of as an idiot.

If I go on anymore I'd just be repeating myself.
Bren, if you do enjoy regular beat sex I just hope you carry your mobile phone on you just in case you find yourself having to call for help after being bashed by homophobic thugs.
This is my last post here on this particular thread.

zebra-stripes

zebra-stripes said on the 4th Nov, 2008

http://youtube.com/watch?v=44pYL9-XOW0

Jae81m

Jae81m said on the 4th Nov, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Une99uVk8wM

weathervain

weathervain said on the 4th Nov, 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgahC74PydA

Jae81m

Jae81m said on the 4th Nov, 2008

You Can't Stop the Beat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHyLhbym7pY

Bren

Bren said on the 4th Nov, 2008



You guessed wrong and have clearly missed the point (again). It's not your opposition to beat sex that is questionable here. It's the way you express it: by holding beat users (and anyone else who doesn't share your hardline views) in unequivocal contempt, as if they were subhuman.



As opposed to hooking up with a stranger from a personals website, chatline, etc? As opposed to a random pickup in a bar or party? One thing you might learn, as you move through life, is that absolutes tend to lack the substance of truth (however deeply held the conviction in them).

In the meantime, once again, you hold beat users in unequivocal contempt as if they were subhuman. Good for you.



Gee, thanks for your heartfelt advice, lad. The evident sincerity of your concern is charming, really. If I decide at some future point to venture down to the local estate for a bit of beachside nookie, I promise your kind words will be at the forefront of my mind :)

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 4th Nov, 2008

You guessed wrong and have clearly missed the point (again). It's not your opposition to beat sex that is questionable here. It's the way you express it: by holding beat users (and anyone else who doesn't share your hardline views) in unequivocal contempt, as if they were subhuman.



As opposed to hooking up with a stranger from a personals website, chatline, etc? As opposed to a random pickup in a bar or party? One thing you might learn, as you move through life, is that absolutes tend to lack the substance of truth (however deeply held the conviction in them).

In the meantime, once again, you hold beat users in unequivocal contempt as if they were subhuman. Good for you.



Gee, thanks for your heartfelt advice, lad. The evident sincerity of your concern is charming, really. If I decide at some future point to venture down to the local estate for a bit of beachside nookie, I promise your kind words will be at the forefront of my mind :)
Now you're just making shit up.
Contempt? You're a fucking drama queen, mate, honest. Desperation is not contemptable - just sad.
Subhuman? Are you for fuckin' real? I would NEVER call someone subhuman.

Dating websites are stepping stones - they are modes of communication - not physical acts commited in a physical place. Substance of truth? WTF? I live my life based on principle. My principles are true for me because my beliefs co-incide with my behaviour.
Way I express it? could I give a fuck about how you interpret my written comprehension skills? What are you - an English teacher?

gaynproud

gaynproud said on the 4th Nov, 2008

Oh Asherbella you said you would stop posting but here you go again. Maybe when you go to start a thread or add something to a thread just think about what you are typing in first before you hit the enter key as the more you carry on the sillier you sound with your opinions. It is fantastic to have an opinion on a wide range of subjects but please don't expect everyone to share your opinion and please don't get so upset if someone dares to to challenge your opinion. Just accept the fact that some people like doing beats and some don't. :)

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 4th Nov, 2008


I know I said I wouldn't post here again, but Bren accused me of holding beat sex users in contempt because I think they're subhuman - which is total fucking bullshit. :D

Bren

Bren said on the 5th Nov, 2008



There is indeed at least one drama queen around here but, lad, I'm clearly not the frontrunner. If you don't want to be misunderstood and are not the judgemental person that your recent words so strongly suggest, then choose your words more carefully in the first place. To recap:

Asherbella, [...] In your posts you have stated that guys who use beats are:
• Not worth knowing
• Shallow
• Opportunistic
• Desperate.
• Abnormal
• Unhealthy

[...]

You also state that beat sex;
• Dehumanizes people.
• Is facile and baseless
• Pathetic


If that is not expressing severe contempt and ridicule for beat users, then I'd hate to see what (in your mind) actually does qualify. And "beat sex dehumanizes"? You're right, that's not implying [URL="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=subhuman"]subhuman. It's implying [URL="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=inhuman"]inhuman. (While you're visiting Dictionary.com, do look up [URL="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=hyperbole"]hyperbole too).



Then you'd happily wear a t-shirt -- to work, in public, in the company of friends and family -- which says "I meet guys off websites to suck their cock" ? :D



You don't give a fuck... yet you keep posting on this issue :rolleyes:

Like a number of others here, I am just shocked at your determination to denigrate beat users as a way of expressing your personal disapproval of beats. That has been the point all along -- a point you've found every conceivable excuse to ignore. Good luck with that.

As for a criticism levelled earlier in the thread at George Michael, calling him a "loser" because of his beat activity, I note the following astute and relevant comment from another thread:

Asherbella

Asherbella said on the 5th Nov, 2008

There is indeed at least one drama queen around here but, lad, I'm clearly not the frontrunner. If you don't want to be misunderstood and are not the judgemental person that your recent words so strongly suggest, then choose your words more carefully in the first place. To recap:



If that is not expressing severe contempt and ridicule for beat users, then I'd hate to see what (in your mind) actually does qualify. And "beat sex dehumanizes"? You're right, that's not implying [URL="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=subhuman"]subhuman. It's implying [URL="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=inhuman"]inhuman. (While you're visiting Dictionary.com, do look up [URL="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=hyperbole"]hyperbole too).



Then you'd happily wear a t-shirt -- to work, in public, in the company of friends and family -- which says "I meet guys off websites to suck their cock" ? :D



You don't give a fuck... yet you keep posting on this issue :rolleyes:

Like a number of others here, I am just shocked at your determination to denigrate beat users as a way of expressing your personal disapproval of beats. That has been the point all along -- a point you've found every conceivable excuse to ignore. Good luck with that.

Oh, for fuck sake. I don't do beats, they're not my style. They're unsafe, they're illegal and the guys that look for beat sex are desperate. It's as fucking simple as that. Get over it.

dreadcircus

dreadcircus said on the 5th Nov, 2008

Wow! Asher we all know you don't do and like beats. We all hear you loud and clear. I commend you whole heartedly for making such a stance and choosing the morals which suit you best in your reality tunnel. You have every right to be this way also.

People in this thread have honestly opened up here from their experience mostly using level heads to discuss this phenomenon which has been hand in hand with the gay community for a long time. Remember not all of us have made it to your happy place where you can easily express your morals loud and clear. There are always hidden issues to somebodies motives as you have briefly told us you were attacked in a beat. Well I was damn near raped in a club toilet by some guy. For me that doesn't mean I hate clubs now, instead I'm way more careful and choose the people I associate with better.

Not all of us have the luxury still to even be openly glbt in public. Yes even people who are loud on the internet still live in secrecy. Beats still exist because there is obviously a need for them. If you would like to see this practice vanish then pursue that course. Just don't go out and demonize people for doing it as you are not in their shoes.

I think it's brilliant that you come across as a very passionate man who has obviously put alot into yourself to be strong enough to set such high morals. You obviously have enough passion to get things done for yourself so maybe giving a little more compassion to others experiences would benefit everybody.

I know fuck all about beats. I know they exist as I was once a guy who had to go pee in mens toilets, something I'm ever so thankful I'll never have to do again ;). I don't agree with them personally but my opinion matters not here. Many people have agree'd partly with thnigs you have said. Beats can be unsafe, but then they can be safe.

Another thing and this is not to aimed at anybody here but YES, some people are depserate. They are desperate to fuck the last guy in the club, get a handjob in a carpark and some even date people they don't even care about just to feel some sort of contact or social interaction. Desperation is all around us, but just because you percieve somebody as despo doesn't mean they are when you know little about them. We have all been despo at some time. Shit happens and it's natural. Doesn't mean you are condemned for life.

At the end of the day people MUST take responsibility for themselves and the care of others around them. People need to be informed and be safe in all aspects of life, Travelling, clubbing, work and yes beats because if not the harsh reality is you are only hurting yourself. Young people need to be informed about safety before making wrong brash choices in our community.

Stand tall Asher, State how you feel and even contribute something to making real change if you don't like it that much. Telling people they are immoral and despo is not constructive as you are going by your experiences. Try walking a mile in somebody elses shoes. Wanna try mine???? :)

pdunni

pdunni said on the 9th Nov, 2008

Public sex is asking for trouble. I have never been and have no interest in going, no major reason just doesn't really interest me, neither does picking up off the net and I do have casual sex, I just need to communicate in person to see if there is something there.

I commend Asher's stance and I can find SOME things in his point of view which I agree with as well as that of others.

Bren

Bren said on the 9th Nov, 2008



Thank you, Oracle of Delphi, for imparting that universal statement of absolute fact.



Putting your loaded, intentionally judgemental, wording aside ("right mind", "proudly", "admit"; nor are beats the only places strangers meet to fuck unsafely, BTW), who would report their own involvement in beat and/or unprotected sex?

New HIV patients at their first post-diagnosis medical, for one.

People completing health surveys, for another. To quote from the latter study:

Common elements of men’s explanations for seroconversion include the location where sex took place, length of relationship, prior familiarity with casual partners, incorrect assumptions about HIV serostatus, lack of awareness of HIV prevalence in the gay community, desire for intimacy, degree of sexual attraction and the valuing of romance (Kippax et al., 2003). The majority of informants (n = 128) attributed their seroconversion to unprotected anal intercourse. However, the context in which UAI occurred, types of sexual relationships between partners, and perceptions and understanding of risk were highly diverse. A significant minority of men (n = 28) attributed their infection to a low-risk sexual practice such as fisting, oral sex or ‘nudging’ (brief insertion of the penis into the anus without a condom).

In some cases men did not believe that UAI with a primary partner had led to their HIV infection, even when the relationship was short and neither partner had tested for HIV before stopping using condoms. For example, the participant quoted below thought he had most likely been infected through oral sex with a casual partner, although he had also had unprotected anal intercourse with his main partner. He did not attribute his HIV infection to sex with his boyfriend because he believed his partner to be HIV-negative, even though they had never explicitly discussed it. This account suggests that discussion of HIV within regular relationships may be impeded because men value the sense of trust and care between partners

hazyinseptember

hazyinseptember said on the 10th Nov, 2008

Public sex is asking for trouble. I have never been and have no interest in going, no major reason just doesn't really interest me, neither does picking up off the net and I do have casual sex, I just need to communicate in person to see if there is something there.

I commend Asher's stance and I can find SOME things in his point of view which I agree with as well as that of others.

there is an element of risk to beat sex..

but there is equally a risk to picking someone up off the net, or even at venue.. ( your personal safety is certainly not guaranteed at either )..

its not for everyone, and its certainly not something that needs to be thrust into the public limelight..

Asherbella HAS made SOME valid points, unfortunately his posts have also been smeared with conjecture and fabrications..

but thats the good thing about samesame.. everyone has a voice..

honest

honest said on the 10th Nov, 2008

....
As for a criticism levelled earlier in the thread at George Michael, calling him a "loser" because of his beat activity, I note the following astute and relevant comment from another thread:

Please don't quote me out of context to support your statements. Thank you.

gnosis

gnosis said on the 13th Nov, 2008

Did anyone else see this?

http://sxnews.e-p.net.au/news/police-harassing-beat-users-says-caah-4412.html

hazyinseptember

hazyinseptember said on the 13th Nov, 2008

thanks for posting that article!!!

daev

daev said on the 13th Nov, 2008

I signed up for squirt.org. After many years of being gay and even before that when I was, well... whatever. My point is, I have never really done the beat thing. Anything i have seen or heard has been initiated via word of mouth. I must admit after reading this thread, I was sorta curious.

I discovered my local beat is the 'Council Carpark' - a place i don't feel comfortable parking my car, let alone my arse. The main cause for concern here is "one old guy who just sits there and does nothing" :confused:

The 'Cemetary', near my work, goes OFF. Funnily enough, it goes off at about the same time one of my "god hates fags" colleagues tends to leave work to "walk" to the station. Yes, hello - i see you. ;)

'Shopping Centre Lower Floor Toilets' has a tongue twister of a name that I guess can only mean its a tongue twister of an experience in a venue advertised as "all ages".

Pet Peeves / Warnings: "People there to actually go to the bathroom." :p

A gentle hint from one to another like ships passing via the comments section: "To the tall uncut guy who wears the PUMA shoes -- Im NOT interested".

How does Uncut Puma know who is not interested? Given this is a mens toilet Uncut Puma can safely assume its not Hairy Fanny in the Masseur Sandles, but it hardly narrows down the list. This comment is the most abstract form of communication i have come across in a while, definitely worse than a Facebook 'Poke'. At least they are distant relations, in the metaphorical sense of the word.

I came to the conclusion: A grunt, a wheeze, a flush - the breeze. A comment on squirt.com - its the primeval point of this past time. Its not about long walks on the beach, hugs and endless discussions on the thoughts of the other - Its about getting the job done mano e mano.

I can find the humour in these situations and the humour helps me to understand - and given that the beat focuses heavily on the toilet, and the toilet is a huge source of fun (for me) - I wonder:

Does it ever happen where you are "engaged" and someone comes in for an "intended purpose" - Do you stop?

What happens if the person has an "intended purpose" say, like the one in Austin Powers - Is it rude to call for a Courtesy Flush?

I get the giggles if a neighbour lets rip with a fart (or worse) and this is just not a situation which would lend itself to me feeling - in any way, shape or form - sexy. Does this happen to you?

All the best people...! This has been an interesting thread full of passionate debate, threats, violence and negativity and HIV-Positivity. I had a good night checking it out for myself and coming to no conclusion; laughing at no ones expense but slightly more wiser for having signed up.

:)

datkindagal

datkindagal said on the 13th Nov, 2008

sex in confessionals is underrated.

Also just a suggestion what about Fred Niles driveway?

Public toilets is so passe, yes?

its all a big anti climax when no disco balls drop down from the ceiling.

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