Folks, we’ve alerted the winner of our Jerry Springer: The Opera competition. We’d love to tell you who they are, but as people were required to share with us their “best Jerry Springer-like moment”, we thought we’d better keep that a secret.
However, we couldn’t resist sharing some of the best with you – anonymously of course. Thanks to everyone who entered.
“My step sister’s husband came home one day and said to my step sister, ‘Louise* I am having an affair with the next door neighbour and I can’t keep it from you.’
My step sister responded, ‘I know you’re having an affair with her as I am sleeping with her also. Actually we are in love and we would like you to move out.’
This was five years ago and surprisingly my step sister is still with her lesbian lover and the husband still lives in the same house – but in a separate bedroom.”
“I was at a beat in Killara when I was about 16 and a guy came in the next cubicle – there was a massively large glory hole – you could have climbed through it – and after we had ‘played’ he said ‘you know who I am don’t you?’ and i went ‘no’. I was now feeling nervous. He told me he was the father of one of my friend’s from school. It kinda changed the way I saw my friend, and made the end of school father/son camp interesting!”
“When we were about 14, my neighbour and I uncovered a whole stack of photos in her Mum’s sock drawer – of her Mum and Dad in action, some with other people – and a whole bunch of cut out articles of them in swinger magazines! Then while watching some old videos – yep, you guessed it… at the end of the video was a ‘special’ home movie that Karina’s* parents had made – with their close family friends! Ahh, growing up in Dubbo… there’s plenty more of these stories, don’t worry!”
“Me and my boyfriend were wanting to try a threesome. So he met this guy who only had a body pic in the profile. He organised everything and brought the guy home one night. Turned out the guy is my boss. Did we go ahead or not? I’d have to win the tickets to tell you.”
“I slept with my cousin’s boyfriend who I later found out was my sister’s ex. It’s like he’s going through the whole family. To this day I haven’t told anyone. I’m worried my mum might have had an affair with him as well!”
“My wife turned up lesbian but we stayed together for a while and shared the house. One night she brought a youngster home. In the morning I go to the bathroom and bump into… my daughter from a first marriage! It was five years ago and they are still together… but I moved out.”
“I was dating Sarah* (I was ‘straight’ then) and I slept with her best friend Gary* (I was coming out). Sarah and I broke up. Then I got a new boyfriend , James*, and I slept with Gary again (naughty me). To get revenge, James (my current boyfriend) slept with Sarah (my ex girlfriend!). James and I broke up and I finally dated Gary (the love of my life). He broke my heart and we broke up. Then while James (my ex) was comforting me, I found out he was sleeping with Gary! Then they dated for four four years!”
“Well, my mother and father adopted me and only told me because they where separating as my father came out and was leaving mum for a hairdresser. They are actually my uncle and aunty who took care of me as their own because my natural mother was a tramp. True and trashy. Funnily enough, my parents are still together – human sexuality is very complex.”
“A bi-curious mate of mine went to 357 (men’s sauna) a couple of years ago, went into the dark room, met a guy and had sex with him inside with other males. He left the dark room with the guy he’d just had sex with, and when it became bright enough for them to see each other’s faces they realised they were in fact brothers. None of them had told the other about their secret sexual preferences.”
“A guy cracked onto me at a party. He was about 65. He’d been with my mum for ten years before I was born. I was 15 at the time.”
“Was on holidays and I went home with a cute 20 year old guy that I picked up at the beat. We had a really fun night together and ended up lying in bed at his place chatting for ages. We spoke about everything: work, life, family… He told me his dad was a counsellor and after I enquired a bit more about where he worked and asked what his Dad’s name was I realised that I’d shagged his dad about a year ago!”
*Names have been changed.
Jerry Springer: The Opera plays at the Sydney Opera House from 21 – 26 April, 2009. Tickets are still available.
Watch Alison Jiear’s performance of I Just Wanna Fucking Dance from the show at this year’s Mardi Gras party: