While thousands of gay boys may admit to once having crushes on the quintessential boy band New Kids on the Block, it would appear that our love for their aging, but still incredibly-fresh boyish good looks has all but dried up.
The group were set to bring their reunion tour to Australia. The only problem was, nobody cared. Yesterday the group revealed on their website that the tour had been cancelled due to the “recession’s stranglehold on the world’s economies” – also knowns as poor ticket sales. Shame on all of you for destroying the NKOTB dream.
Crushingly, no mention of a rescheduled tour was made in the statement from touring company Andrew McManus Presents. “Due to circumstances beyond their control, the New Kids On The Block have been forced to cancel their upcoming Australian tour dates. The group is incredibly disappointed and very sorry they won’t be able to perform in Australia at this time,” the statement said.
“The guys are very grateful for all the love and support from their Australian fans.” Which was clearly a facetious reference to the lack of support the tour received from the group’s so-called ‘fans’. Yes, he’s talking about you guys, all of you fickle Same Samers who didn’t pay the measly $175 that it cost in some instances to witness the magical reunion of arguably the greatest pop band ever. They graced the cover of TV Hits over 100 times, don’t you know?
Fortunately, News Limited was on hand to give the grieving fans an outlet for their emotional anguish. “I was in love with all of them,” told 28-year old Neesha Crebbin, who bought tickets for the Adelaide show. She spoke openly of how besotted her generation was with the group’s five young heartthrobs. “I had all albums, merchandise and videos… I was too young to see them when they toured Australia last time, so this was going to be my turn.”
Dastardly rival promoter Michael Chugg took the chance to sink the boot in, however. “New Kids on the Block was very big years ago… no one really gives a shit about them now,” he said, having the nerve to suggest that the price of tickets might not have matched the quality of the group. Blasphemous!
Watch the clip for NKOTB’s 1989 ‘gangster-lite’ single Hangin’ Tough. Clearly you’re all not nearly rough enough…