Shannon has noticed lately just how much he and his friends call each other ‘fat’. It’s all in good fun – just another way that they rib, insult and pick on each other. But could it be indicative of a self-defeating mindset?

It’s easy to make some off-hand comment to a friend who decided to indulge in a piece of cake, or other junk food. We have all done it… “oh you fat mole”. It’s said off-hand and often with affection but what is it really saying?

Fat in the bodycentric gay community is just another way that we beat ourselves up for not looking like the ripped muscle dude on the cover of DNA magazine.

We have all said it… “I feel so fat.”

Even friends of mine who are super fit or in shape will look at themselves and say “I’m so fat”.

What is it that drives perfectly healthy guys to look at their bodies and call themselves fat?

For young people body issues can become particularly hard to deal with. I am the first to admit that part of the reason I started hitting the gym was for my own vanity. I used to go out all the time and see guys who were far hotter and buffer having an amazing time. I thought that if I was buff and if I was hot then that could be my life too. I thought that it would make me desirable.

What I realized as I got older was that this was a fantasy. The people who have truly been my friends through thick and thin were there long before I started hitting the weights, and the guys who have dropped in for a quick woohoo because they liked the way I look in a Speedo haven’t really made an impact on my life.

So now when I hit the gym it is less about vanity and more about staying fit and healthy. I actually like the way it feels after a workout.

Most people will blame the media, and others will blame a community obsessed with youth and beauty. But these are just symptoms of a much larger issue.

Get yourself a dose of reality and understand that your body issues are the result of billions upon billions of advertising dollars all poured into the media to make you feel shitty about yourself so that you will go out and fill that void with food and ‘stuff’.

There are those out there who are genuinely overweight, but there are plenty of overweight people who are happy. Happiness and self respect don’t only come to gym bunnies. It is about realizing that you are beautiful just the way you are. It’s about being successful, it’s about helping others, it’s about achieving your goals and living a life true to your authentic self.

Sure, the road to self-acceptance is a hard one. There’s so much pressure in today’s world to be the ‘cookie cutter’ equivalent of what is beautiful. But not everybody wants a pumped up muscle man or a waif-thin twink.

Remember beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but it also comes from within.

Catch up with more from Shannon on his blog here.

If you’re concerned about your body image and/or food routines, contact the Butterfly Foundation here.