I was recently asked:
“I have a very low sex drive and am extremely frigid. This has led to some awkward situations and makes it difficult to make friends. Do you have any advice?”
Frigid by whose standards?
The crazy thing about the gay community – and the wider community in general – is that we place so much emphasis on sex. Having it, getting it, bragging about it, and taking pictures of it.
Sex has become the chaser that we take with our Vodka lemon and lime. A Gay nightclub resembles a Meerkat Gang with gays straining their necks as they seek out potential partners. You can almost see the terminator cross hairs moving across the crowd.
There is nothing wrong with holding out when it comes to sex.
If not wanting to have sex is affecting your ability to make friends then I would question whether or not you want to be friends with these people anyway. While friends do sometimes have sex, friendships based on sex are doomed to failure.
Do you really want to have friends who only stick around because they want to sleep with you?
So not feeling sexual results in awkward situations… Well there are going to be plenty of people in your life that you are not going to want to have sex with. Don’t feel bad for saying no. It’s your body.
There is so much sex going on around us and so much pressure to have sex that when we don’t want it or we are not having it, it is easy to think that there is something wrong.
Why am I so frigid?
Why don’t I enjoy sex?
What’s wrong with me?
Am I missing out?
The truth is that sex is a personal choice. Don’t measure yourself by the sluttiness of the people around you. Holding out for someone special isn’t being ‘frigid’, and neither is waiting because you are unsure about sex.
Sex is to be enjoyed in your own time and on your own terms. Don’t feel bad or apologize for this.
And above all when you do play… Play safe :)