Meeting guys is one of those things that’s always hard to do no matter who you are or where you come from.
Whether it’s just for sex or you’re looking for something more, the cruising or dating scene can be confusing and intimidating to say the least.
So if you’ve just come out and your looking to get your cherry popped, want a relationship or your a bit more seasoned and looking for love, here are a few places you can go to find what you want…
Manhunt, Gaydar, Adam4Adam, Gay Match Maker, SugarDaddy.com and any one of the other 100 websites dedicated to finding your Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now are a great place to start for those of us who may be a little shy or who are looking for discretion.
An online profile can say as much or as little about you as you want it to. Pictures are a must however. Men are visual creatures, they need visual stimulation hence why so much post porn is for men. Having a picture will more than double your hits.
Online profiles in my experience tend to be around for one thing… sex! Most guys look for hook ups online. There are a few dangers. Fake profiles are rife (I have even been sent my own pictures) and guys who like to collect your pictures are everywhere and will disappear after seeing you in your birthday suit.
Don’t be scared though. If you are a little shy then online dating is a very safe way to shop and you can give away as much or as little about yourself as you like.
If you like going to work out and you want a guy who looks great in a t-shirt then the gym is a great place to meet guys. Just be aware that unless you know everyone at your gym is gay you may be in for a ruff shock.
Conversation about diets, supplements and weights is a great way to show of your masculinity and spread some testosterone around. My favorite tactic is to ask a guy to spot me on the bench press. That way you can get a look straight up his shorts to check out his assets… LOL.
Seriously though, when you meet someone at the gym at least you know you have at least one common interest.
Clubs are a great place to meet guys if you can survive all the bullsh!t that goes with them. Night clubs tend to be very cruisey and can sometimes be quite intimidating, especially if the object of your affection is surrounded by his mates. The best thing about clubs is that you get to see what you are getting for real.
Being able to talk to strangers and having a little bit of confidence is important in a club. Some people will tell you that you can’t meet a boyfriend in a club but the first guy I met in a club ended up being my boyfriend for nearly five years.
For more tips on flirting, check out my article – How to be a better flirt.
Or if you’re hitting the clubs for the first time check out – Your first big gay night out?
Local social clubs
I am a big advocate of getting out of the scene and meeting people with whom you may already have a common interest. Local gay sports clubs, bushwalking clubs, youth groups and other community organisations are a great way to meet interesting people. Part of the reason I joined the Lifesavers With Pride was so that I could meet other guys in Sydney and make some new friends when I moved up there.
The thing to remember is that the gay community you see on the club scene is only the tip of the iceberg. For every club kid there are a hundred other guys who don’t go near the nightclubs. Get out and meet the other 90% of the community.
The invention of the iPhone and this app has revolutionized the way gay boys pick up. You now have a GPS tracker of all the hot guys in your vicinity right there in your pocket. Simply log on and select from the menu. Just like online dating you will need to have a profile and put your worm on the hook. A pic is essential, and even if you’re looking for a boyfriend and not just a quickie you will find guys on there who are looking for dates.
Grindr is also a really useful tool when you are traveling, for connecting with locals and finding out information about where you are. I find that a lot of my friends now use Grindr instead of texting each other because it is cheaper too.
If you are looking for a relationship then your local speed dating event can get you some quick phone numbers. The key to meeting people is to put yourself out there. You aren’t going to meet the love of your life sitting on the couch watching Golden Girls reruns.
Saunas and sex on site premises
Saunas and sex on site premises are where you can go when you are feeling horny and want to find an anonymous pounding. The quality of the venues can vary from the palatial to the downright disgusting.
These places take all the guess work out. Everybody knows what they are there for and you will be able to cruise in a safe place. You will always get the usual suspects who won’t take no for an answer. There will always be a variety of guys, some of whom you will not be interested in or who will not be interested in you, but you get that everywhere. Some of the venues will hold special nights like under 30s nights which is great for young people to meet other young people.
Regardless of where you go to meet guys they key is always to have a little bit of confidence in yourself. You don’t have to be a Casanova but remember that you are worthwhile knowing and be yourself.
You will be rejected, we all are at some point but the right person is waiting. You need to get out there and make yourself known.
And as always, play safe!