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Where do you go to meet guys?

Meeting guys is one of those things that’s always hard to do no matter who you are or where you come from.

Whether it’s just for sex or you’re looking for something more, the cruising or dating scene can be confusing and intimidating to say the least.

So if you’ve just come out and your looking to get your cherry popped, want a relationship or your a bit more seasoned and looking for love, here are a few places you can go to find what you want…

Online dating

Manhunt, Gaydar, Adam4Adam, Gay Match Maker, SugarDaddy.com and any one of the other 100 websites dedicated to finding your Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now are a great place to start for those of us who may be a little shy or who are looking for discretion.

An online profile can say as much or as little about you as you want it to. Pictures are a must however. Men are visual creatures, they need visual stimulation hence why so much post porn is for men. Having a picture will more than double your hits.

Online profiles in my experience tend to be around for one thing… sex! Most guys look for hook ups online. There are a few dangers. Fake profiles are rife (I have even been sent my own pictures) and guys who like to collect your pictures are everywhere and will disappear after seeing you in your birthday suit.

Don’t be scared though. If you are a little shy then online dating is a very safe way to shop and you can give away as much or as little about yourself as you like.

The Gym

If you like going to work out and you want a guy who looks great in a t-shirt then the gym is a great place to meet guys. Just be aware that unless you know everyone at your gym is gay you may be in for a ruff shock.

Conversation about diets, supplements and weights is a great way to show of your masculinity and spread some testosterone around. My favorite tactic is to ask a guy to spot me on the bench press. That way you can get a look straight up his shorts to check out his assets… LOL.

Seriously though, when you meet someone at the gym at least you know you have at least one common interest.

Clubs

Clubs are a great place to meet guys if you can survive all the bullsh!t that goes with them. Night clubs tend to be very cruisey and can sometimes be quite intimidating, especially if the object of your affection is surrounded by his mates. The best thing about clubs is that you get to see what you are getting for real.

Being able to talk to strangers and having a little bit of confidence is important in a club. Some people will tell you that you can’t meet a boyfriend in a club but the first guy I met in a club ended up being my boyfriend for nearly five years.

For more tips on flirting, check out my article – How to be a better flirt.

Or if you’re hitting the clubs for the first time check out – Your first big gay night out?

Local social clubs

I am a big advocate of getting out of the scene and meeting people with whom you may already have a common interest. Local gay sports clubs, bushwalking clubs, youth groups and other community organisations are a great way to meet interesting people. Part of the reason I joined the Lifesavers With Pride was so that I could meet other guys in Sydney and make some new friends when I moved up there.

The thing to remember is that the gay community you see on the club scene is only the tip of the iceberg. For every club kid there are a hundred other guys who don’t go near the nightclubs. Get out and meet the other 90% of the community.

Grindr

The invention of the iPhone and this app has revolutionized the way gay boys pick up. You now have a GPS tracker of all the hot guys in your vicinity right there in your pocket. Simply log on and select from the menu. Just like online dating you will need to have a profile and put your worm on the hook. A pic is essential, and even if you’re looking for a boyfriend and not just a quickie you will find guys on there who are looking for dates.

Grindr is also a really useful tool when you are traveling, for connecting with locals and finding out information about where you are. I find that a lot of my friends now use Grindr instead of texting each other because it is cheaper too.

Speed dating

If you are looking for a relationship then your local speed dating event can get you some quick phone numbers. The key to meeting people is to put yourself out there. You aren’t going to meet the love of your life sitting on the couch watching Golden Girls reruns.

Saunas and sex on site premises

Saunas and sex on site premises are where you can go when you are feeling horny and want to find an anonymous pounding. The quality of the venues can vary from the palatial to the downright disgusting.

These places take all the guess work out. Everybody knows what they are there for and you will be able to cruise in a safe place. You will always get the usual suspects who won’t take no for an answer. There will always be a variety of guys, some of whom you will not be interested in or who will not be interested in you, but you get that everywhere. Some of the venues will hold special nights like under 30s nights which is great for young people to meet other young people.

Finally…

Regardless of where you go to meet guys they key is always to have a little bit of confidence in yourself. You don’t have to be a Casanova but remember that you are worthwhile knowing and be yourself.

You will be rejected, we all are at some point but the right person is waiting. You need to get out there and make yourself known.

And as always, play safe!


Catch up with more from Shannon on his blog here.

Social

Comments

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Matt Akersten

Matt Akersten said on the 21st Feb, 2012

Nice one. We should do a follow-up for the girls soon :-)

Lazzarus

Lazzarus said on the 21st Feb, 2012

Nice work.

I like to pay for my sex so rejection is never an issue. It's amazing how much more tongue you get for an extra $50 ;)

dannews

dannews said on the 21st Feb, 2012

Haha, where did the dudes in the pic meet?

badtrany

badtrany said on the 21st Feb, 2012

thats fine if you are a gay man but what if you are a genderqueer tranny?

B Matthews

B Matthews said on the 21st Feb, 2012

I enjoyed this a lot! Though I don't think any of that was great for me haha, loved the article though :)

Dont Touch

Dont Touch said on the 21st Feb, 2012

Quote: %u201CConversation about diets, supplements and weights is a great way to show of your masculinity and spread some testosterone around. My favorite tactic is to ask a guy to spot me on the bench press. That way you can get a look straight up his shorts to check out his assets%u2026 LOL. %u201C
This made me emotionally vomit! Ok so yeah being able to express your masculinity is all well and good but this is really demoting feminine guys. I am not a%u201D fem%u201D guys trying to say %u201Chey what about my people%u201D no I am a rugby playing, hairy chested gym boy that is sticking up for the%u201D fems%u201D. Our community has y over the past few years decided verbally bash. There is nothing wrong with girly guys and to be masculine does not make you a better person.
Other than that I love your work good job.

Lazzarus

Lazzarus said on the 21st Feb, 2012



I agree, there is nothing wrong with a girly guy; I just don't want to fuck them. -_-

Dont Touch

Dont Touch said on the 21st Feb, 2012

I dislike the fact you cant delete your own coment. good article....... good

Dont Touch

Dont Touch said on the 21st Feb, 2012

Lazzarus. now that you have typed that how do you think a girly guys might feel. They might feel un attractive and than closet their girly selves. think back to when you would hear homophobic comments from straight guys like

I dont care if a guy is gay I just dont want him anywhere near me

Doolander

Doolander said on the 21st Feb, 2012

It's very hard to make a connection with guys in general nowadays. Especially when you're not part of the gay culture and you only venture in every now and again.
Everyone seems to be out looking for the next best thing, not realising that to sustain a relationship, it's not all strawberries and cream. It takes work, and compromise. Society seems to have gone too far down this narcissistic everything-is-about-how-good-it-is-for-me path....
In my experience anyway.

Lazzarus

Lazzarus said on the 21st Feb, 2012

Lazzarus. now that you have typed that how do you think a girly guys might feel. They might feel un attractive and than closet their girly selves. think back to when you would hear homophobic comments from straight guys like

I dont care if a guy is gay I just dont want him anywhere near me

I don't care what you or anyone thinks. If you don't like what I have to say then block me and do both of us a favour.

I really, really, really, really, really don't care.

I like my men big and butch and nasty. I'm sure all the girly guys out there will be happy to know you're available because I won't be touching them.

This conversation ends............................ now!

MrAsh

MrAsh said on the 21st Feb, 2012



You can delete your own comment. Click edit and you'll see a delete button at the bottom of the comment box.

MrAsh

MrAsh said on the 21st Feb, 2012

Shaun good article, you forgot a few other places where guy can meet others.

Supermarket.

If you live in gayland in any part of the world, the supermarket is a sure place to randomly meet potential suitors.

Laundrymat.

Like the supermarket, if you're in rainbow land, a casual conversation or a wink of the eye whilst doing a load can lead to more intimate suds with a stud! :p

Work.

Yep work, there are workplaces which are practically mini gaylands and I worked in such a place in Melbourne. The stories I heard and things I saw. :D

I still remember having a note passed to me whilst I was working asking for a date! I didn't like the guy so I handed it straight away to my supervisor, she brushed it off and said 'Oh Ash, that would happen to you often, get over it!'. :o

Marc

Marc said on the 21st Feb, 2012

Subway, Wet on Wellington, Club 80 are good places to meet someone.... but I subscribe to the notion the it will "mark" the relationships future.... he met you at the sauna and will leave you at the sauna....one day.

MrAsh

MrAsh said on the 21st Feb, 2012

It's very hard to make a connection with guys in general nowadays. Especially when you're not part of the gay culture and you only venture in every now and again.
Everyone seems to be out looking for the next best thing, not realising that to sustain a relationship, it's not all strawberries and cream. It takes work, and compromise. Society seems to have gone too far down this narcissistic everything-is-about-how-good-it-is-for-me path....
In my experience anyway.

I couldn't agree with you more Doolander.

MrAsh

MrAsh said on the 21st Feb, 2012



The negative attitude from gay men towards 'femme' has been happening a lot longer than just the last few years and it's not only just verbal abuse, it's also physical and psychological.

In my view it stems from internalised homophobia and misogyny. Guys who are comfortable with their sexuality and who also see women as equals and not lessers are less likely to have issues with more feminine men.



Stating that you're a hairy chested rugby playing gym boy sticky up for the femmes, makes you come across as being macho and paternalistic. It's quite patronising really and it seems you are making the assumption that 'femme' gay men are vulnerable, delicate, fragile, defenceless and weak. Who are in need of a masculine man to protect them. Just like the misogyny women endure about being the lesser gender, which is a load of nonsense.

'Femme' gay guys don't need protectors, they need support and encouragement to stand on their own feet and have the confidence to defend themselves and from my experience a lot of these 'femme' guys can do that perfectly!

Irene

Irene said on the 22nd Feb, 2012

LOL That wll be a short thread!

Doolander

Doolander said on the 22nd Feb, 2012

The negative attitude from gay men towards 'femme' has been happening a lot longer than just the last few years and it's not only just verbal abuse, it's also physical and psychological.

In my view it stems from internalised homophobia and misogyny. Guys who are comfortable with their sexuality and who also see women as equals and not lessers are less likely to have issues with more feminine men.



Stating that you're a hairy chested rugby playing gym boy sticky up for the femmes, makes you come across as being macho and paternalistic. It's quite patronising really and it seems you are making the assumption that 'femme' gay men are vulnerable, delicate, fragile, defenceless and weak. Who are in need of a masculine man to protect them. Just like the misogyny women endure about being the lesser gender, which is a load of nonsense.

'Femme' gay guys don't need protectors, they need support and encouragement to stand on their own feet and have the confidence to defend themselves and from my experience a lot of these 'femme' guys can do that perfectly!

http://www.watchfreeks.com/gallery/57/57_030915_240000000.gif

My favourite post from you! Ever.

vinegar tits

vinegar tits said on the 22nd Feb, 2012

far too many self absorbed, queens looking for something better and better without appreciating whats in front of them.

since when does going to the gym mean your masculine?

I prefer guys who are themselves, comfortable being both masculine and feminine and none of this over compensating to be 'straight acting' shit. I find it a big turn off. I also find the exaggerated queen a turn off too as it is another side of the spectrum of overcompensating.

twoten85

twoten85 said on the 22nd Feb, 2012

When I first started going out the gay scene it was always the self absorbed effeminate screaming queens who were among the meanest to me, I still can walk into a club 11 years later and still get the same looks and comments I got back then... I guess the only difference between then and now is I am strong enough to bite back... Sydney is a very pretentious and shallow place whether we care to admit it or not to admit it.

I realize that the point of this article is relation to *where to find guys* and there are many great places you can exchange glances etc... I always have people speaking to me...guess I must be approachable :D

Virgindirk

Virgindirk said on the 22nd Feb, 2012

When I first started going out the gay scene it was always the self absorbed effeminate screaming queens who were among the meanest to me, I still can walk into a club 11 years later and still get the same looks and comments I got back then... I guess the only difference between then and now is I am strong enough to bite back... Sydney is a very pretentious and shallow place whether we care to admit it or not to admit it.

I realize that the point of this article is relation to *where to find guys* and there are many great places you can exchange glances etc... I always have people speaking to me...guess I must be approachable :D

I had the same problem when i first moved to mebourne from regional tassie.Before I moved I kept having this vision that the gay scene was just one big happy group of guys who all got along and everyone was freinds with everyone.....I was soooo wrong. I couldnt believe the amount of bitching, fakeness and maniplulation that went on in the scene particularly in the 18-25ish age groups. The sad thing was I got roped into it and almost became one of them (former freinds are adament that I was one of them). I met some nice guys while I was living over there but looking back at the way I behaved and treated people I can see why things didnt go very far and none of them bothered to call back or meet up again. I suppose tts just one of those things were you have to look back at and learn a lesson.

I've been in a great relationship for over 2.5 years however I know that if my current parnter met me when I was 18 and living in melb he wouldnt have taken one look at me.

museboy

museboy said on the 23rd Feb, 2012



OK we get it. You don't care. You don't care about anything. Yet you still post that in pretty much every thread. Seems pretty lazy to proffer an opinion yet be oh so disinterested in responses. :confused: I would ask why but frankly I don't care either. :D

twoten85

twoten85 said on the 23rd Feb, 2012



Lazz isn't that bad...seriously the guy he was replying to seemed like such a dick :S

Iratei

Iratei said on the 24th Feb, 2012

I think to meet guys you should go out and find them.

datkindagal

datkindagal said on the 24th Feb, 2012

where do you go to meet trans people,

at a UK Race day sponsored by Paddy Power

Dont Touch

Dont Touch said on the 28th Feb, 2012

MrAsh I dislike you but you have made good points. I never said I was a protector. I proudly call my self fem. I ran a drag event and rock in a pair of heels. I just used these other terms so he would not term around saying thats just another fem complaining. hmm I am not going to debate this I already do every day.

Light-Bearer

Light-Bearer said on the 28th Feb, 2012

I meet a better quality of man in the morgue

nickdisco

nickdisco said on the 28th Feb, 2012

"How to meet vacant men and have sex with them" is a much better title.

MrAsh

MrAsh said on the 28th Feb, 2012



Considering I've never met you, I neither like or dislike you. Your comments on this thread, especially the above, just show you are immature and you are still on a path of self discovery, it say's more about you than me.

Lazzarus

Lazzarus said on the 28th Feb, 2012



I've got a thing for corpses as well.

Light-Bearer

Light-Bearer said on the 28th Feb, 2012



Don't diss the sluts hombre.

We may be sticky- but did I say anything about your hair?

Lazzarus

Lazzarus said on the 28th Feb, 2012


That's good because you wouldn't understand my answer.

Light-Bearer

Light-Bearer said on the 28th Feb, 2012

Who'd fuck this bunch of whingey cunts?

Lazzarus

Lazzarus said on the 28th Feb, 2012

I only fuck dead people, they don't whinge.

nickdisco

nickdisco said on the 28th Feb, 2012

Don't diss the sluts hombre.

We may be sticky- but did I say anything about your hair?



http://www.dankimball.com/vintage_faith/images/higher_female_hair_1.jpg

twoten85

twoten85 said on the 28th Feb, 2012



At least you weren't referred to as mean... :(

Lazzarus

Lazzarus said on the 28th Feb, 2012



I can think of worse adjectives.

twoten85

twoten85 said on the 28th Feb, 2012



I know, but I am not a mean person, I just say it how it is! :D

Lazzarus

Lazzarus said on the 28th Feb, 2012



You see that is where you and I differ - I'm just a cunt ;)

seaman

seaman said on the 28th Feb, 2012

Lazzarus. now that you have typed that how do you think a girly guys might feel. They might feel un attractive and than closet their girly selves. think back to when you would hear homophobic comments from straight guys like

I dont care if a guy is gay I just dont want him anywhere near me

So a gay guy should be offended if a straight guy prefers a girl? :confused:

Lazzarus

Lazzarus said on the 28th Feb, 2012



You don't want an answer you want an argument. I don't argue anything with a fool.

DavoJimbo

DavoJimbo said on the 4th Mar, 2012

online worked for me - had to deal with a few trolls, etc. but all in all, by taking my time, I finally met a keeper - and a few along the way, that even though weren't mr right were really decent mr right nows. The big key is to take your time - time is your friend on line - almost no one can keep up a lie or deception over a long time period. And now with cameras and live chat, they only thing missing is knowing whether they snore or talk in their sleep ;-)
10 years on, I can say getting a computer and dating online was one of my better decisions.

sesame

sesame said on the 4th Mar, 2012

online worked for me - had to deal with a few trolls, etc. but all in all, by taking my time, I finally met a keeper - and a few along the way, that even though weren't mr right were really decent mr right nows. The big key is to take your time - time is your friend on line - almost no one can keep up a lie or deception over a long time period. And now with cameras and live chat, they only thing missing is knowing whether they snore or talk in their sleep ;-)
10 years on, I can say getting a computer and dating online was one of my better decisions.

Do u accept PDF copy of medical results?

DavoJimbo

DavoJimbo said on the 6th Mar, 2012

nah, I use really good online virus protection.... ;-)

The_Freak

The_Freak said on the 4th Jul, 2012

Certainly a very interesting article. Clubs/pubs, gay social clubs and saunas/S.O.P. venues were pretty much the "go" when I was younger.

Although we liked looking at muscular guys, I dont think many of my peers were into gyms, not at least to the degree some younger guys are today. I think we were more into fashion and the way you look (mind you, most of those 80s fashions are cringe worry now :D) and not so "body obsessed".

Speed dating, is what I use to think some of my friends were into, they seemed to have a different boyfriend every other month. :p

Of course, there wasn't any "on-line dating" and "grindr" back then.

Certainly a lot more choices to meet people these days compared to when I was younger and out "dating". A lot of the same arguements persist though, about "Fem" & "Butch" guys. Guess it shows that while a lot of stuff changes over times, other things stay the same.

Yep, certainly a very ineresting article. :)

Anthony Mahera

Anthony Mahera said on the 4th Jul, 2012

It true about work.
I have meet majority of my gay friends via work. We had a little gay branch on the corner of Market & Clarence St's with 8 gay guys. It was fabulous!! :)