We have all heard the term ‘Scene Queen’ and many of us at some point have either been one or known one.

The gay scene is like a theme park full of clubs and social events, dance parties and sex parties, drag shows and $2 peeps. It’s glitzy and glamorous on the surface whilst seedy and seductive underneath.

It’s easy to get caught up in the scene when you’re young and fresh out of the closet. Having been raised on a steady diet of Skins, Queer as Folk, Kylie and bad drag shows, I know. I was one of the boys in his sister’s jeans bouncing up the street in a t-shirt three sizes too small. Hell I still do it sometimes. The difference now is that I know it’s a theme park. Fun to visit but not somewhere I want to live.

The gay scene is an interesting beast. It can be a comforting tolerant place where our sexuality is accepted and we can be free to explore who we are. It can be nurturing to those of us in need through support groups and new friends and it can be a lot of fun. It can also be intensely cruel, intolerant of difference and incredibly superficial.

The trick to surviving the gay scene is to remember that it is just that, a scene, and it is only one of many.

There is a very big world outside of the gay scene that should be explored. Diversity of experience and friends adds to a fulfilling life. The world is an amazing and diverse place and you should never underestimate the opportunity of meeting people who have interests other than clubbing.

There is a lot of benefit to be had from getting out of your comfort zone. Pushing the boundaries of our life brings new experiences and perspectives. Being uncomfortable is precisely the indicator that we are on to something new.

When I first moved to Sydney I wanted to meet people outside of the club scene. This is why I joined the lifesavers. Having a common interest is a great way to make new friends. It’s also why I started playing waterpolo. I wanted to meet people who I could share something with other than my sister’s jeans. Pursuing the things that I loved like swimming and wanting to be part of a team not only helped to keep me grounded but also gave me a wonderful chance find other ways to socialise without the need for pumping base and alcohol.

Whatever you think of the scene there is no doubt it can be fun but like all things moderation is the key.

Party safe people.